Hello all,

I've posted a couple times about this relationship, but will again because this fucking sucks.

Basically, I cut it off with a manipulative, suspected BPD woman back in the summer. While with me, she would openly disrespect me around my friends, exploit my compassion, and generally behave as though she's not in a relationship. I dropped her fast... but was out of town for a while. In that time, she began spending a lot of time with all my friends while I was gone. They went on trips and went to shows together - the things I do with them. It had me crushed that they were so friendly with her but I never so much as got a "how's it going" while I was gone.

Fast forward to when I return to town - she invites my friends and I to her bday party, then revokes my invite. Saying, "you can have your friends back after my bday." This was a few months ago now, but I'm only just now grasping the gravity of that power dynamic and how absolutely fucked up it is that she had the kind of power to say that. Who gives her the power to take my friends, then give them back? Why does she get to cut me off from all the people I met through her, but she gets to stay buddy buddy with all my friends? It's got me in a mental wreck right now. I know my "friends" are a big portion of the problem, but to their defense, I told them I was fine, and that it was cool for them to hang with her. Never showed pain, even though I'm crushed. It's only recently that I confessed that she's actually been a complete cunt and isn't trustworthy. They've since cut her out, but I feel like it's because they need to baby me instead of because they respect me. I feel like she got her playtoys and once she was bored of them, tossed them to the curb and I got the leftovers.

I'm a fucking mental wreck right now. I'm meditating, trying to stay positive, but I'm filled with so much rage and I don't know how to reconcile this. I want her to be broken the way she broke me. I want the kind of power she had, and I want to step all over her with it.

How does one handle this kind of situation?