Quick sotry....

Been Monk for 2 years, was a prior Chad turned Simp. I had spent the better part of 8 years trying to be a "rock star" and woke up one day, sober, and realized I needed to be better. I moved back in with my parents (at 30, now 31) but I still pay them rent. I have a great job paying close to six figures, have plenty of money to buy my own house and build my empire, but taking it slow.

I am having a serious problem with two things. One is, whenever I get a day or two off I drink myself stupid. I feel like I am back living my daily, entire bottle of vodka and going out, days when I was in bands touring the country. The thing is, I dont want to do that anymore. I hate myself every time I wake up hungover like why did I do that? It has gone from every day to about 4 times a month, but I know when I start drinking the outcome, and I still put myself in that spot... Does anyone know why?? How can I motivate myself to not, as I do sometimes, but it still creeps up about 3-4 times a month.

Problem number 2: Jealousy; Like I mentioned, been monk for over 2 years. Its been so hard to be monk, literally telling naked girls to put their clothes on is some type of power that you cannot imagine. However, I still get super jealous when I see girls in my neighborhood or co workers going out with these simps... I think "why didnt they choose me"? I have never even asked these women out and I have no interest in asking them out. But I still find myself getting jealous? Why is that and how can you get past that? It either motivates me to work out harder, or drink more when I really dont care... When I see it however, WHY DO I CARE!???