Sometimes I want to hug someone and cry while that someone is telling me "it is alright". I think some people on TRP call this loneliness. I think it is something different.

I want to cry because:

  • Everything I am attached to, including my posessions, relationships, friends, families, thoughts, perspectives, songs I know, my muscles, my health. All of them are going to go away while I observe. I can do nothing about it. I am going to die and there is nothing I can do about it.

  • Hope is pointless. Everything is a distraction. Life has no merit. All meanings, causes, attachments are delusions of faith. There are no rules, guides, paths or anything. It is just chaos or random looking set of changes with a constant of death.

I can't find any legitimate reason to get up and join life. It is a short game and I'm going to lose it. Why even participate? Seriously?