Elders of 30+ years old, what would you advice a young man in his early 20s who's feeling stuck and lost. Need mentoring and advices. Thanks.

evigungkar · 2020-04-16T23:40:20+00:00

Having and caring for my son has been one of the most worthwhile things. Letting go of cultural ideas about which environment that is supposed to happen in. Securing a good education and never ending your education although you've left academia or wherever you got your education.

MyLittlePonyofDoom · 2020-04-17T01:13:39+00:00

People are going to tell you all kinds of shit and you need to qualify their advice. Don’t take finance advice from a poor person unless they are telling you to avoid the mistakes which fucked them up. Same for taking dieting or fitness advice from fat people. Incentives are everything. Never trust anyone who stands to profit from your actions. Always question why. Nobody has your best interests heart except for you and that includes your parents and siblings. A lot of people are fucked up and the distinction between the sane and the crazy is that former just hide it better.

Most important is that you only have one life. Make it count.

RT-AC66U · 2020-04-17T01:41:47+00:00

What is your 5 year plan

ResultsoverExcuses · 2020-04-17T02:26:36+00:00

Create your experience.

Do something with out thinking about it

Repeat.

hagbard51 · 2020-04-17T05:17:18+00:00

Hey man

Here’s some things you could try that have worked for me.

Exercise daily
Research something you’re interested in and learn something new
Spend time alone in nature
Think about other people’s problems as well as or instead of your own
Do some kind of service for other people in need (elderly, lonely)
Read stuff by people who inspire you (David Goggins - You Can’t Hurt Me)

The more I take action, rather than being passive, I begin to control my environment and what happens. This gives me control over my life = purpose & drive.

When I sat back passively, it was like I was waiting for things to happen to me. This gave me no control over my life = dissatisfaction & negative thinking.

Good luck brother.

GulfCoast_Ty · 2020-04-17T02:34:50+00:00

Only advice I have for you is to figure something out. Don't be in your mid 30s like me still trying to figure out life.

rallaic · 2020-04-19T19:59:03+00:00

Invest. As many others pointed it out, an early 20s guys (with the notable exceptions of inherited money or top 10% looks) is not yet in his prime. Invest in your body with workouts, invest in your future by advancing your career, invest in your knowledge by picking up skills.

Worst case scenario, you will be a fit and wealthy men, but still alone. And that's the worst-case scenario. When you get near your 30s, you can actually consider if you want to start a family or not.

Based on my experience, even if you fuck up at school, you can still make it. Obviously it is the harder road, but it's far from impossible.

You are playing for the long term payoff. You can take large (but reasonable!) risks, like switching fields and completely starting over.

The main thing is, start thinking long term, for both good and ill. I fucked that part up and ignored the long term consequences, thinking it will not matter. 30s is barely middle age, as I'm learning now, and paying for the lack of foresight of my younger self both in health and hard cash. To be frank, I still learned that lesson relatively cheaply.

LesterBurnham97 · 2020-04-20T07:19:12+00:00

Find out what you truly love and try to spend as many time as possible doing it. Everything else is just background noise that comes with it or is a necessity required to pay for the loved.

Also don't take life too serious as it is a game you cannot win anyway. Or do you know anyone who got out alive?

;)

PhuncleSam · 2020-04-17T19:20:27+00:00

My advice is seek advice elsewhere, these guys are fucking weirdos

kubicas · 2020-04-20T10:53:09+00:00

Elders are 60+ bro

Bourbonandcigars06 · 2020-04-21T03:38:12+00:00

Think about military in a good technical skill set. It will teach you things about yourself. Sure it requires discipline but they help you. At same time they pressure you to be your best. It’s a great lead in to life and may very likely get you into a great career

Navy did great by me, older now but wouldn’t have a great career and self discipline if hadn’t have done it

panzer0001 · 2020-04-21T13:52:39+00:00

Put yourself first
Only opinion that matters is yours
Dont watch porn or masturbate, destroy that energy by working out
Never simp, it just doesnt work
Dont fear and listen to your guts if something is shady
There is no real happiness in material things and money
Majority of your friends are fake asf
Dont dance like others want you to
Relationships and girls are awesome,but only in beggining
Dont be afraid to fail, by failing u are getting wisdom

countinginsolitude · 2020-04-17T10:33:48+00:00

You're posting this on a MGTOW sub, so i'll give you MGTOW advice. Don't waste your 20's scouting for girls... I wasted my entire 20's looking to score - was it worth it? No. I'm single now. I'm aged 30 and aside from a few health conditions which I cannot help, life is good. I've got no kids - no girlfriend - society would consider that a little unusual, or like I've failed. But, i'm winning. I've got a good job, good pay (compared to some other people my age, i'm obviously not a millionaire).

What should you do? Pick a topic you like. Maths, football, gymnastics - whatever you're into, become GREAT at it. It'll help you get a job in the field. If you can help it - avoid getting in a relationship and/or cohabiting with a woman. I've dated 20+ women in my life and each one has brought SOME stress - different levels of stress, but ultimately, it wasn't worth it.

I don't believe I'll ever find someone else and that....ok. Why? Because happiness needs to come from within, not from an external factor.

RunawayGrain · 2020-04-17T12:47:34+00:00

Your twenties kinda suck, but it gets better once you get yourself established. Getting yourself established means financial independence, self sufficiency, and living on your own.

Start an emergency fund, sock away a thousand bucks, then divert the cash you were putting into the emergency savings into investments.

Avoid student loans. College can be a good choice, but carefully evaluate the major and whether it will get a worthwhile job afterwards. I mean there's the famous calculation that a UPS driver will actually out-earn a medical doctor over the course of their career simply because the UPS driver doesn't have to invest a decade or more of their prime earning years and incur a massive amount of debt. In fact I'd say the money in medicine isn't in being a front line doctor anymore, but I digress.

Money can't buy happiness, but not having to worry about money frees you to pursue some measure of happiness.

901735 · 2020-04-17T12:24:34+00:00

In today's evening make an too ambitious list of things you'll get done tomorrow.

Face your failure tomorrow, but do make sure you don't have to face your COMPLETE failure tomorrow.

It's a path that leads to you having resources (financial, material and most importantly self-reliance-related ones), which you will be able to invest into you experiencing life with less fear and feelings of being burdened.

But, hey, I'm just a "successful" male, what do I know.

And don't forget to carpe diem on your bon voyage,... son.

BananaWilly · 2020-04-17T08:15:07+00:00

Listen to yourself. You get one life.

FindingKeeping · 2020-04-17T05:34:15+00:00

Absolutely Ditch relationship dramas

Save money for /r/LeanFIRE

Follow your passions take risks work hard for your goals

CHAD_TDK · 2020-04-17T05:13:06+00:00

Advice #1: don't call anyone "Elders"

Advice #2: "12 Rules for Life" is a pretty good primer, just edit out the relationships/marriage stuff.

[deleted] · 2020-04-17T04:06:11+00:00

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[deleted] · 2020-04-17T01:54:47+00:00

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Lifeat35 · 2020-04-17T01:24:40+00:00

Tell us more about you and what makes you tick.

You may not even need advice, just reassurance of the path you’re already on.

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