First of all, I apologize if this is not the type of post one should make here and for making it so long.

​

I am a 23yo male, currently in my third year in Med School. My family is relatively well-off, although I do not work. I am somewhat attractive (maybe a 7), 5.57ft in height (170cm, I am not american) so bellow average, and of regular build, a bit buff. I am dedicated, not lazy, generally capable in house tasks, and I live alone.

I say that as context for your consideration on the following. I still have a huge urge to have a relationship, and my failure to do so has causes me emotional distress. It is emotional, as I said, but it is something that has been making my life harder, since it has been affecting my ability to do stuff and, well, just the emotional hurt itself is bad. Not just that, I have been rejected a few times by women that I was genuinely interested in and that were, as far as I can tell, bellow my league (in intelligence, means, appearance, occupation etc), so I am starting to have self doubt and some other emotional issues arising from the frustration of that aforementioned urge, namely, hopelessness. I have tried getting into hookups, mostly managed that with girls even lower than me, but that made me feel even worse.

Furthermore, I still have the genuine wish for having a traditional family, which I believe would be better than staying single or being in unstable relationships, though I am aware achieving that would be quite hard and risky

I come to you because, although I am not very well knowledgeable in the MGTOW philosophy, I believe you could give me some valuable insight. How do I fight this feeling and the hurt it brings me? Is my wish something I should give up? And, as the biggest cause of my self doubt, why am I so undesirable? Could my personality be so distorted as to cause this, or could the problem not be me? In total, most women reject me and, although I've had some successes, it is not enough to dissuade me from believing and feeling I am ultimately defective or wrong in some way, something my ex makes pretty clear every time she tries to talk to me btw.