Did solo marriage counseling help any of you guys? Is it worth it?

SwamiSweatSocks · 2021-05-19T17:01:11+00:00

Probably if she doesn't want to go she's already disengaged and probably planning a divorce and talking to divorce attorneys, sorry to say.

Sea-Mission-6316 · 2021-05-19T17:12:42+00:00

In my experience, marriage counseling was useless. Most counselors heavily favor the female point of view. Hate to hear you are at this point in your relationship. Don't do the Pick Me dance. It's not attractive and will just push her away even faster. Your only chance is to get strong and file for divorce. That might wake her up, but not likely. Read the book No More Mr. Nice Guy by Glover. I very much regret even trying to work things out with my ex. Would have been better to spend the time working on my own life and plans for the future. Good luck to you brother.

Adorable_FecalSpray · 2021-05-19T17:09:12+00:00

2nd edit: Why did you post this 3 times???

If your wife refuses to see one, you can't salvage the marriage on your own. You need two to make a marriage work. Sorry.

Go to individual counseling.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/counsellors has a very good listing that is searchable by a lot of different variables.

Edited to add: Although we did see 3 Marriage counselors during our 15+ year marriage and 99% of the issues that were raised were ALWAYS my fault. During the divorce proceedings and after, I went to 3 different therapists, 1 was bad, 1 was ehhh, 1 was pretty good. I ended up going for weekly or bi-weekly sessions for at least 9-10 months, just processing the last 15+ years and the divorce and her mental health issues (undiagnosed BPD), and then focused on working on myself. I've been off of it for a year but have been thinking of going back to work on some other issues that I have found myself running into. Nothing huge, but when you can find a good therapist they are good to bounce your thoughts and ideas off of, make sure your mental processes are healthy and good, etc.

ThrowAwayRAOoops · 2021-05-19T17:15:30+00:00

Go to the marriage councelor to help you define what you’re seeing and experiencing. It can help you better communicate your needs and boundaries to your wife. If things are salvageable it might help. If they aren’t it will help you understand why beyond just the obvious that she doesn’t want to work on it.

Bipolar_investor · 2021-05-19T20:26:45+00:00

she refuses = She already has a plan without you in the picture. Guaranteed.

awrongvotesuspension · 2021-05-20T03:12:12+00:00

Marriage counseling actually made things much worse in our situation. We had already been to a few others, but she felt like “they are men and felt “intimidated” . Finally She picked this one (woman) that agreed with her, and it basically made the situation intolerable. It was her and her “therapist” against me, i decided to quit before she used any of the material and advice given by the therapist against me (which she did). My opinion is, they never work and i never see anyone on here where there is much success using them.

Title	Did solo marriage counseling help any of you guys? Is it worth it?
Author	browneyedtoad
Upvotes	1
Comments	8
Date	May 19, 2021 3:32 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/ng8ytj/did_solo_marriage_counseling_help_any_of_you_guys/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/did-solo-marriage-counseling-help-any-of-you-guys.816980 https://theredarchive.com/post/816980

Comments