An unsent letter to my Dad

I swear if this divorce settlement gets long and drawn out for no reason. I will find it very hard to forgive my parents after that. They have already rocked me and my siblings lives the last 4 years with the separation. Yes Dad I know you made all the money, and Mum was “no help”. But you were married. While you were working on your projects, Mum was working, doing the laundry, cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping. Picking up your dirty washing off the fucking ground everyday. Mum doesn’t have any fucking money now because she used all of her savings to put me and my brother through private school for a couple of years. You had the money to pay when those bills were due! But you always put it off and Mum just decided to pay. Because y’all decided that private school was the best for us in Middle School. Mum has told me how she is “strapped for cash” for years!!! Luckily she has her Mother as a backup, who is quite wealthy. She paid to renovate Mums house. But she’s not going to pay Mums bills. Please just give Mum some money. You’re not doing any favours to YOUR children which you preach about doing the right thing for, if you bring in your big daddy lawyers and she brings in her rich Mums lawyers. It will be a shit right. I promise I see your side Dad. You shoved it down my fucking throat for ages. You remember taking me on those long car trips on school nights just to bitch at me about my Mother. Not in a “she’s a bitch way” In a Let’s talk about her Miscarriages (briefly talked about this) Childhood (TO GREAT FUCKING LENGTHS) Mother (TO GREAT FUCKING LENGTHS) Sex life (briefly talked about this) I stayed with you when Mum left because you had convinced me that she was evil and sick for leaving. We slept in the same bed for days after she said she was leaving because you were so sad and there were no other beds in the house during that weird period of Mum still living there but had said she was leaving. You wailed about her leaving, in a way that I only remember parts of because I blocked it out. I agree she wasn’t the integral part of your projects that you wanted her to be and I know how devastating it was for you when those didn’t work out the way you wanted them too. I know this was going to be your big break. I know your business partners fucked you over. I know the architects fucked you over. I know you desperately wanted to get this project done, because this would be your mark on the map and you had put YEARS into it. I know how devastating it was for it too fail, and then lose your marriage within 12 months. I know that this project had so many hurdles and you were just at the last 1, when it got fucked. I remember being in court with you, getting through 1 of those hurdles.

I am so so so sorry Dad that it didn’t go the way you wanted it too and Mum didn’t help you like a wife should do to support her husband. I know you don’t mean that in a misogynistic way. You mean it in a, we were a team and I needed you there. Kind of way.

But it’s been 3 years. Please just give her some of the money. Please don’t take this too court.

You always talk about how you want her to be a better Mother. Maybe she will have more of a capacity if she isn’t worried about money. Trust me I’m not thick. I know it probably won’t change much. She’s acting the way she was wired too long ago.

Give her the money for the kids.