STILL LOVE HER BUT CAN'T STAND HER. Should I go through with the divorce?

xdrunkagainx · 2021-02-01T20:08:09+00:00

Run, Run, Run. You can't negotiate desire.

Anthropologie07 · 2021-02-01T20:09:22+00:00

I’m a little confused. What is it you love about her if you detest her presence?

GrayCalf · 2021-02-01T20:19:33+00:00

Spend time with your son. Focus on your hobbies. Plan for what you want to do in the future. I knew it was over with my ex-wife when I started seeing all the things I could be doing with my life that she was holding me back from. I knew she was up to no good, but when that moment hit where I realized I would forever be happier without her, I knew it was time to put it to bed.

touch0ph · 2021-02-01T21:28:39+00:00

I took some advice from Kevin O’Leary. Divorce is expensive so before you go down the road of signing papers and splitting up property spend 3 months apart and re-evaluate.

I did this with my wife and she started to see the value in the marriage. She also saw what life was going to be like (have to get own place, raise kids, get a job, etc). Somethings that enough for some change. Sometimes it’s not.

I started doing some work on myself. You can’t change anyone else except for yourself. But you can influence.

LandOnMyFeet · 2021-02-01T23:52:28+00:00

Leave. Try to practice little or no contact. Stop the kissing and hugging and for God sake no sex. All the physical stuff will muddy the water, screw with your emotions not allowing you to think straight.

So yes, Run Forest Run!

Specific-function408 · 2021-02-02T05:07:55+00:00

As a woman in the same position I can tell you that if she is hugging and kissing you it's because she loves you and is fighting that loving feeling when she is ignoring you. I bet you asked for the divorce. If so,she loves you enough that she wants you to be truly happy and realizes you will only be happy after you have your freedom. No one wants forced love and affection.
What makes you want to run? Is your son from this marriage or a previous one?

hamboner426 · 2021-02-07T04:07:55+00:00

Little late on this but I’ll chime in...like others commenting on this one my marriage has been deteriorating for a long time. Couple tragic deaths in the family were the nail in the coffin for us. We’ve agreed that splitting is best. We married young. Really young. Been together since we were 16 and turn 40 this year. Things change. People change. When the spot light is on you and the feelings are strong, just try to remember that people have made it through immensely trying times. War. Famine. Disease. As fucked as it sounds, helps me to remember all those before us that toiled HARD. Romantic Relationships end. That’s OK. So much societal pressure To stay together even when it’s clearly not working. You made a beautiful child together and hopefully you’ll be a functioning team to raise your son without a bunch of bullshit. Keep your head up and don’t let fear drive the bus. Here’s how it went for me...I kept going back over and over to this place where I was like “man I can’t do this anymore”. I’d justify, rationalize, and make excuses as to why we should make it work. But it just doesn’t work. I knew deep down inside what I wanted and needed. Just had to find acceptance and courage. I hope you find the answers you want and need my dude.

Title	STILL LOVE HER BUT CAN'T STAND HER. Should I go through with the divorce?
Author	andyhdzdelgado
Upvotes	2
Comments	18
Date	February 1, 2021 7:37 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/labxid/still_love_her_but_cant_stand_her_should_i_go/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/still-love-her-but-cant-stand-her-should-i-go.817489 https://theredarchive.com/post/817489

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