A little back ground before I ask questions. Military guy here. Admitted adultery on my part a year and a half ago. We tried counseling, marriage and individual counseling for myself. We decided to end things about a year ago and the last 6 months of living together was a living hell. It was a warzone and a tough time for the whole family. My chain of command knew about the offense and I recieved nonjudicial punishment since I brought it to their attention because I needed help mitigating the situation. We married at 19(m) and 18(f). Over the last 10 years we had 3 kids and multiple moves.

Everything was as "okay" as things could be up until her and the children moved back to the states. Until finances became the issue. We are still in the filing process and I recieved a housing payment for her and the children which I give to her and more. They moved back to Texas in August of last year. She has said herself that we are toxic for each other.

I am just painting a picture for you guys that she is not moping around as a innocent victim

She has slept with her fair share of people since we decided to call it quits and split off. This has been confirmed.

My issue is that she and the children have been back in Texas for 6 months. She sold a family car for 7000$ before she left my duty station. Also, the money I have recieved for her from the military for housing is 1700$ a month. Since she left, I have transferred a totall of 15,600$ to her in 6 months.

7000$ sold car

1700$ a month - 6 months 10200$

15600$ - 10200$ = 5,400$ - out of pocket payments for supporting her and the kids.

We have no court order for child/alimony support yet.

My STBX is doing everything in her power to try to control me when it comes to money. Claiming I have not been paying child support and will have to pay back payments since August of last year. She also looks for any sort of fuel to put on the fire. She monitors social media (we are both blocked from each other) from my friends, coworkers, etc. Trys to plot against me by claiming I'm seeing other people. Claiming it's illegal that I don't give her access to my bank account (She opened her own when she sold the family car and kept the 7000$).

It's a daily fight of her and the children being neglected by me.

We are fine when it comes to communication most days. I video chat with my children regularly. It's when she gets in a financial bond and wants more money out of me, the threats start. We live separately in 2 different parts of the world and on average she is recieving 2600$ a month and lives in a small town in Texas. She has no car payment, I still pay for insurance and credit card debt we acquired while married for all those years.

Does anyone else deal with a hostile STBX who threatens to try to ruin you any way possible if you don't give her money when she wants it?