Here I am again at a bar killing time to go home, hopefully shes asleep when I get home. I come here after a long day at work to kill time, I cant stand going home and interacting with her. Shes terrible. All we do is argue. I hate my home life. I want out!

jacksjj · 2018-10-20T02:34:35+00:00

I did the same thing for a long time. I am getting out and even though she is full of vitriolic hatred and tries to make my life miserable every single day, I’m happier than I’ve been in years.

The fear of getting out is worse than getting out.

321getout · 2018-10-20T06:24:13+00:00

I did that a couple nights a week (off and on) for the last 7 years (of a 16 yr marriage)... plus just staying at the office late to further avoid conflict. Eventually, my absence just brewed even more resentment and arguments. It was a bandaid but it worked for awhile to keep me sane.

Then last spring our company was bought out and I was laid off along with other members of the exec team... very much expected and standard operating procedure in this kind of buyout. I got a generous severance and had lots of time to find my next thing, but now I was with her 24/7. Instead of a nice “break” between gigs it got worse and I started getting depression and anxiety symptoms from the daily onslaught...

So a month ago I talked to 4 divorce lawyers, started individual therapy and I finally feel like I’m taking control of my own life again. Now I just have to save some more $$, find my next gig and file the papers.... the “escape plan” is slowly forming.

Tic-toc, tic-toc.......

2018-10-20T02:52:39+00:00

A year after our separation, I’m glad to read this, reminds me of why we had to split.

mjv22 · 2018-10-20T05:42:43+00:00

God this hits me right in the feels.

Super_Juicy_Muscles · 2018-10-25T12:52:20+00:00

Dude, kill her with kindness. That is what i am currently doing with my pos soon to be ex. If she says something mean i just reply with a "sorry you feel that way" or "thanks for sharing that with me". Once she sees that she cannot hurt me she leaves me alone.

Other than that, spend your time playing, doing activities or learning with your daughter. Forget your wife, focus on you and your daughter.

letak2018 · 2018-10-20T19:41:02+00:00

Yeah, I do whatever I can to avoid her, the fighting, the constant snide remarks and sarcasm. It’s bullshit, but I recognize it’s HER problems, her unresolved issues that make her act like that.

personguy · 2018-10-23T15:14:52+00:00

Thanks for the reminder as to why I got out. Still stings, but at least my depression and anxiety are lifting.

charliemurphy7767 · 2018-10-24T20:27:30+00:00

OJ SIMPSON

nalaughlin · 2018-11-17T13:02:20+00:00

I’d say find a great church and see if anyone there can connect you to some guys to help you walk through it all. It’s best to deal with these types of problems in community.

nancyanny · 2018-10-28T10:59:12+00:00

I’m a wife, together 22 yrs, all I ever needed was for him to show affection and maybe just turn the hot water maker on. My husband used to talk to his old gf, the one who cheated on him and he didn’t get over, and we have three kids one w special needs, and all I get is his anger at curbing his freedom.

He plays vid games constantly bec he doesn’t drink.

We sleep in separate rooms for a year now.

I want out, but he loves money. He got to go to school while I was caretaker of my mom (alz), my daughter (brain surgeries - 12), his interferon (like chemo for hep C), and my drug addict sister (broken back made her opioid addict).

I’m ready to scream bec I read what a bitch your wives are, and wonder how you guys might be killing their self-worth, their affection, invalidating her feelings by being aggravated that she Has feelings...

Yes I’m projecting my own husband’s complaints here, but honestly, it takes two to make a shitty marriage.

I’m so ready to bail out.

He just got home after sneaking out tonight, waited for everyone to go to sleep.

Nice huh.

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