How can people be so knowingly evil

I was sexually harassed and assaulted in 7th grade and no one believes me

17,205 points•1,125 comments•submitted 5 months ago by flackey07 to r/teenagers

& 48 more

Ok so in seventh grade I was tormented and harassed by this girl she constantly did things like grab my ass, try to "finger me" and kiss me and even though I resisted and told her to stop she kept making advances. I finally had enough when she grabbed my crotch (I'm a dude) and tried to overpower me. I hit her and told her to fuck off and the next day I finally opened up to my counselor about her assaulting me and she seemed concerned at first until she talked to my abuser who played the victim and said "he swore at me and hit me" which pretty much got her off the hook but got me in a lot of trouble for "violence" even though I was defending myself. Even my own parents said "when teenage girls act out sexually it Usually means they're being abused so its not her fault" I was so mad when even my own parents weren't on my side. Everyone said I made it up to get attention and she would never do that. and to this day my abuser is a really popular girl at my school and it kills me that she's going to get away with abusing me for the rest of her life. I wish people would believe boys too just cause were physically stronger than females doesn't mean we can't be abused by them. If anyone is abused I urge you to open up even if no one believes you...

[–]cartmaster 32 points33 points34 points 5 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link

[+]SaltnSprinkles -44 points-43 points-42 points 5 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link

[–]genkernels 17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

Men typically aren’t taught from a young age to dress a certain way

Men are taught this.

to not go out late at night

Men are taught this, and for good reason. They are after all more likely to be attacked when they do.

to not walk by yourself

Who exactly is going to walk a man somewhere?

to let someone know where you are at all times

to never leave your drink unattended etc

Men are taught this, and I've heard stories of men learning this one the hard way.

And when women do get sexually assaulted, often their reputations get ruined

Men too, and they get very little sympathy for this.

You are an ignorant asshole, and should perhaps learn a little more about the experience of others. It would also behoove you to learn less about what people fear, and more about how people are hurt. Imagine if these items were listed not as things people do to avoid being hurt, but actually looking at the ways people are actually harmed.

[–]cartmaster 32 points33 points34 points 5 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]hypothesenulle 23 points24 points25 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Stray_48 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]SaltnSprinkles -2 points-1 points0 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Not trying to be a victim, simply pointing out that you’re clearly too absorbed in your own gender issues to see the other side. Obviously I’m aware of how bad women have it in other countries, I have travelled and seen this first hand.

But really, it’s so close minded of you to pretend that women don’t have problems as well as men. And no, women don’t live like goddesses, especially if you don’t fit into what western society deems to be attractive.

People in the West are allowed to think their lives are hard. It’s perfectly valid to feel that way. Yes, they may not be as hard as people living in places such as the Middle East, but Western countries certainly aren’t perfect either. There are many parts of Western culture that oppress both men and women.

But at the end of the day both men and women experience problems and are subjected to stereotypes because of their genders and you would have to be absolutely obtuse to think that only one gender has problems.

[–]Deadass-Boi[S] 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]BuraBanda 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]MBV-09-C 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I was taught to be extra careful and aware of my surroundings if I needed to go out at night, that I should always have a buddy if possible, to not only have keys out and gripped ready to use as a weapon if need be, but also to have my phone out as I'm walking to my car at night so that any potential muggers or kidnappers would think I'm expected somewhere or that I could have the cops dialed before they tried anything. I was also told to let someone know if I was going somewhere outside of my regular routine and my family has each other in a group circle that can see where we all are and check in on each other, I've also been taught the dangers of public drinking in general as a child from how it impairs your judgement to how adverse regular drugs can affect your body with it, let alone roofies and similar drugs used specifically for spiking drinks. I was taught and took these precautions because even though I am a man, I am not immune to these things. Being a man does not make me less likely to experience night violence or druggings, if anything, I've seen it makes me MORE likely to experience it. Men regularly get shot and stabbed on the streets in my town and nearby cities. Women are not unique in being told to look out for their safety.

[+]Astavri2 points 5 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

Women can do no harm to man unless he is murdered or hospitalized.. That was the point.

She can continue to hit a man, when he strikes back, he is in the wrong. She gets up hits him, he hits back again.

I shit you not, the videos are the only defence these men have of being seen as defending themselves. Even then no one believes them.

Thanks for derailing the comment and thanks for playing.

[–]SaltnSprinkles -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]LoFiGai 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Hey clown, you're speaking from a biased and privileged perspective.

Yes we are. We are not allowed to wear dresses, skirts, pink, or even dress well because we will be viewed as gay, trans, etc.

to not go out late at night, to not walk by yourself

No one is safe at night. Literally every child is told to not go out late at night.

to put your keys between your fingers when walking to your car,

I do that to this day. It's called being protecting yourself when you feel threatened. If im in a bad area, im 100% on alert.

Yeah, if you're going somewhere you should let people know

never leave your drink unattended

You shouldn't leave your drink unattended. No one should.

Women don’t live sheltered lives at all

Lies.

when women do get sexually assaulted, often their reputations get ruined not to mention the level of trauma a situation like that can bring.

Wrong! They are supported by everyone in the community. What drugs are you on? Reputation? Reputation of what? This is just some random fucking BS.

That being said, women should be held more accountable if they are an abuser and we need to create a society in which men who have been abused are taken seriously.

No shit

But yeah, just something to think about.

You should take your own advice.

TL;DR

You're an ignorant clown.

[–]SaltnSprinkles -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Yeah that is true, men are told they can’t wear what are considered feminine items of clothing in Western society. Also true that no one is safe at night. Also true that everyone should let someone know where they are. Safety is an issue for both genders obviously.

All I was trying to say is that women don’t live sheltered lives as they do have similar experiences to men as you have pointed out.

And sometimes when women are sexually assaulted they get called derogatory terms or it’s said that they were asking for it. That is what I was trying to get at with the reputations thing.

So yeah, call me a clown all you want but just know that I do understand that men experience issues because of their gender but at least I’m not so self-absorbed as to think that only one gender has issues.

[–]LoFiGai 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

You might be speaking for yourself here, which is why you're misguided. Every single woman I have ever met is totally sheltered when it comes to these things. Women have no idea how men work or function, because they don't have to. Maybe you're not sheltered, and that's great for you, but the majority is.

Sis the only people that do this are uneducated rednecks. I don't know what you mean by reputation, women who are assaulted are treated much differently than a man who is assaulted. Maybe you're referring to the "damaged goods" rhetoric? Yeah thats fucked up, but there is truth to it. Personally, I'd choose someone without baggage over someone with baggage. It depends on how the person handles their situation. Idk if that's what you mean by "reputation"?

I’m not so self-absorbed as to think that only one gender has issues.

Props to you. Both genders have issues, MRA have their own. Posting about womens issues on a mens issues forum was just a clown move in general, which is why you got downvotes

[–]SaltnSprinkles 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]LoFiGai 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm interested in what you mean by understand men and women better. Feminism is toxic because it seeks to homogenize the sexes. Men don't want to dress feminine, and I'm sure women don't want to dress masculine. Obviously a dress isn't inherently feminine, a piece of cloth doesn't have femininity or masculinity, however this changes when women wear dresses more frequently and men do not. Dress in general is tricky for men because women can dress in mens clothes and not be judged, however that's different for men... and I'm okay with that. I don't personally want to wear the same clothes as women. Why? Because i love the difference between masculinity and femininity, i love how women feel feminine in dresses, and how men can feel masculine in their own styles (tanks? Tees? Suits?). Differences should be emphasized and appreciated, not homogenized, IMO.

What happens when men and women start to all dress and look the same? Not good things. People will have troubles with identity, feelings of incongruency. Dress is a method of expression, men and women should use this to their advantage (they do already).

As for degrading women for being overly emotional, no one should be degraded, but no one should be overly emotional either... depending on the context. Ie customer service, there are standards, you cant flip shit on a customer and not take accountability for it. You should definitely be shamed if you can't control your emotions.

[–]_scheme 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Your first paragraph is breathtakingly false, basically every point you made. I've had to learn all of these things as a man -- yes, even that there are unacceptable ways to dress, and to put keys between my fingers. You may not be aware that a huge majority of murder and assault victims are men. Before you justify that by claiming that it's men who are the perpetrators, or should have taken precautions, know that this is victim blaming.

The more important thing to consider is that, especially in light of the fact that women are not typically the targets of random violence and assaults, your fear is not the same thing as reality. Saying that women are scared and therefore should be treated better is not an argument. You don't have a right to feel or not feel certain ways -- you have a right not to be harmed, the same as men. You being scared all the time does not actually mean you are oppressed, except perhaps by yourself and whoever's responsible for the propaganda you swallowed. Step back and consider how much of your pop feminism argumentation is appeal to emotion, or is rooted in an assumption that you have a right to not feel a certain way.

Yes. Thank you.

[–]SaltnSprinkles -3 points-2 points-1 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I was just pointing out that a woman’s life is not sheltered as was being stated. Obviously men are at a very high risk of being assaulted or murdered, but usually they are not directly assaulted or murdered because they are a man. That doesn’t detract from the fact that men do get attacked, that is incredibly scary no matter what gender you are.

Women’s fears are valid. I have been catcalled by men driving past me on multiple occasions, I have had men grope me and I personally know a number of women that have had far worse done to them. So yes, I am certainly allowed to be scared and cautious around men especially if it means at the end of the day I am safe. That is not to say that I don’t trust men, because I do have a number of men that I am friends with and would trust with my life. It’s just the men that act in a threatening way that I do not trust.

But to be perfectly clear, I was pointing out that women do experience hardship as well as men. I am not saying that men don’t have a lot of problems and stereotypes they have to face because they do. But it’s incredibly close minded to think women live perfectly happy little carefree lives when they very much do not.

[–]nestofbees123 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Die-hardRomantic 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]thederpy01 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]RedditTogetherStrong 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Title	How can people be so knowingly evil
Author	Deadass-Boi
Upvotes	130
Comments	24
Date	February 14, 2021 12:42 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/ljnqch/how_can_people_be_so_knowingly_evil/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/how-can-people-be-so-knowingly-evil.834264 https://theredarchive.com/post/834264

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