not really red pilled, but I'm kinda on the fence. I'm divorced. after the divorce, I started dating again and started a few relationships. I've always felt the "need" to have a partner, a soul-mate, etc. slowly, I've come to accept that what women ask for and what they actually want are 2 different things. also, I learned that the way women perceive their partner isn't the romantic idea seen in movies, but rather a system of assigning value, testing, seeing how much they can get out of a person. I had some negative experiences with these games, dishonesty and such. I've consulted what I've learned with my female therapist-friend, who confirmed for me that even though everything is individual, most women really see things this way.

as a result, I feel really 0 desire to have another relationship. I have realized that investing into somebody else will yield uncertain results, while investing in myself ALWAYS yields positive results. I have learned to deal with my emotions without a "partner". and I have had enough sex in the past to not see sexual desire as enough motivation to pursue somebody. since women see partnership the way they see, the emotional intimacy is always pretty shaky and not worth pursuing imo.

so really, dear RP guys, why even be interested in a relationship? I can't find a reason. I don't need it anymore emotionally, investing in myself is more rational, I can get sex without a relationship, why would I ever wanna date again? I find this to be one of the greatest mind-fucks of my life, as I've always been super romantic in nature, and now I find that something I considered a defining part of who I am is gone. not in a negative way, but it is no more and I'm wanna make sure I evaluate this from every possible perspective.

thanks!