Need some (sane) womanly advice: My wife asked me to make our marriage more traditional. What steps can I take to transition from a modern marriage into a traditional one, and how gradual a transition should it be?

First, some background: My wife and I have been married for eleven years. We married young because we were in love and forces arrayed in both of our families would have tried to tear us apart if we "lived in sin" so we decided that marriage was best for us. Being so young, neither of us had fully grown into our future adult selves that we are today.

I admit that during our marriage I made a lot of mistakes, many with noble and romantic intentions, but ultimately I was putting her on a pedestal. Then I'd resent the inequality and knock her off the pedestal. It was a vicious cycle that lasted for a few years, but over time we learned.

But color me surprised when eleven years in she tells me that what she wants is a traditional marriage. She wants me to be the captain and she wants to be my first mate, my lieutenant. She wants some autonomy but she wants to be ultimately responsible to me and wants me to lead. All major decisions will ultimately be mine, and though she can advise me she doesn't want the stress of being an equal participant in the decision. This has absolutely not been the way our relationship has worked to date.

Another thing she wants to change is our friends' and families' perception of the power dynamic in our relationship. Being so caring, romantic, but ultimately quiet and reserved: I have apparently given the impression to people that I am merely agreeing with my wife and not forming opinions of my own. To a degree this is true, but only on matters that I honestly don't care about. For example, if she wants a vacation to do something specific I usually accommodate her travel ambitions. To me, that's because I've seen more of the world than she has and want her to see what she needs now so she won't regret missing it later. But apparently this hands off approach has made people thing that all I do is just accommodate, placate, and agree. The truth may be that I'm too busy with work to care about minor details in our life, but my wife is asking me to care about those details and decide on them not only for her but so she doesn't feel like people imagine a leash around my neck and a rope in her hands.