So, the reason i discovered the red pill was because my ex whom i have a kid with dumped me.
Now after 2 years i know she did the right thing. I was emotionally abusive and i hate myself for how i was.
But I found trp from searching the net for how to get her back.
I then found all the dating stuff and consumed abit, and felt some peace inside, cause some of the advice seemed to be true. My ex dumped me and fucked around with new guys quickly after, and some other stuff seemed true. But now i feel i have lost myself.
The opinion i now have on women isnt my own, the way i act isnt my own, its all something i got from those red pill guys, and i frankly dont like it.
I remember when I was 14-15 i got with the girl i set my eyes on, i was able to go on long walks, where there would be no awkward silence, only good convo, and good laughs. I could escalate correctly into sex, i did alot of stuff right, and that was before i read anything about seduction, i was just living.
Now im so in my head that i dont know how to do anything regarding women. Back in the day i had the benefit om going to school so i was exposed to girls all the time, but now im a recluse, fat and bald with no social life, at 30 years old with a 5 year old kid, i feel like a failure.
If i cant learn stuff from the red pill, my answer is, how do i unlearn shit, and start to act natural based on instinct ?
How do i learn women skills and everything else i thought i would get from the red pill
[–]copious_cunnilingus13 points [recovered] (6 children) | Copy Link
This is some amazing insight and honesty. The best way to detox is to start. If you relapse, start again. You detox first by unsubscribing to the content and looking for healthier content (people here are good at providing recommendations, so just ask). Sometimes, due to algorithms, you have to delete old content accounts and just starting a new one with the healthy content so you get better recommendations. The journey is hard, but worth it! Hang in there.
If you want to tell me a little more about what is going on, I can try to give you good starting points.
[–]JohnZoffman[S] 9 points10 points11 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]copious_cunnilingus3 points [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link
It's okay! Rambling helps me too. 🤭 Honestly, I would say the best place to start is your mental health. I know that's easier said than done and I know that battle is difficult, but they're skills you will hold forever if you keep working at it. Start with learning how you give and receive love by taking the love languages test and then start doing guided meditations to start emptying some of those anxieties and insecurities you hold. That's where I started personally and I'm about 90% through recovery. Guided meditations and journaling helped me 'find myself' and a lot of stuff starts to fall into place as you keep going. I still mess up and still default to some Red Pill thinking, but it does get less and less through time. Think you can start with those?
[–]JohnZoffman[S] 2 points3 points4 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]copious_cunnilingus2 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
The link is here and it's free to take: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/. It teaches you your specific 'dialect' of love so that you can, eventually, find a partner that gives it in the way you need to receive it (because if they're or you're not speaking the same language, it can feel as though you're not loved, even when they're trying to give it).
Learning who you are is paramount to recovery (especially if you are in or were raised in high-control environments). I am much happier, but it's the contentment I enjoy more than "happiness". Having finally learned how to allow the world around me to just happen, and then just observing, without expectation, was "it" for me personally (but I'm still working on making this my default mode). /r/stoicism and Marcus Aurelius helped me get there too.
Happiness comes when you stop expecting and learn how to receive whatever the universe throws at you (I know, cliche AF, but I learned over time, it's true). Lastly, go to nature (especially if you live in the concrete jungle). Go for walks in your local hiking area or park, turn off your phone, and just be for a bit.
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