Q: What does it mean to be "real men"?

carefulthistime · 2020-05-03T06:17:04+00:00

Hello again.

yes we certainly do hear a lot about real men here, mostly it comes in just the one flavor - live up to my specific ideals of what it means to be a man. The images you present seem to also be of that ilk, the magazine has an editorial policy that defines it's perspective on the question of what is and is not a real man, the cover art, and i am sure the content of these publications reflect that policy.

Generally people who post here do not hold conformative ideals of manhood that align with those presented in your images, however absent some prescriptive 'real man' ideal within the MRM many MRAs have ideas of their own, and I am no different.

To me personally 'real men' and 'not real men' do exist and it is an important area for exploration by any person concerned with men's rights. I believe that 'real men' are the living flesh and blood men we see around us, while 'not real men' are the characters in films or books, on tv, even in anime.

Typically i find that when someone scolds or shames a living man, saying he is not a 'real man' the normative real man ideal that they have in mind is in fact based on some fictional or fictionalized character. A literal 'not real' man.

iainmf · 2020-05-03T07:58:37+00:00

These magazines seem to be the same kind of thing as women's beauty magazines that shame women for not being attractive enough.

I wouldn't trust Cosmo to have anything worthwhile to say about women, so I doubt these magazines say anything worthwhile about men.

pazz · 2020-05-03T06:59:43+00:00

"Real man" conjurer's outdated images and ideas to mind. A man is a human and should fight for all human rights and against inequalities wherever they may be in society. A cause all humans should support.

-NotaBene · 2020-05-03T18:33:04+00:00

Even the phrase is a fallacy designed to shortcut rational thinking. Easy to see the absurdity of it by reversing the genders. What does it mean to be a "real woman"? You put ten women in a room and you'll get 20 answers to that question.

As others have said, the phrase is used to shame men into doing what they want. Men will often take the bait because it's a perceived challenge, and men will rise to a challenge. The problem is the game is rigged, and no matter what you do someone else (or another group) will then say you're not a "real man" until you do what they want.

I don't use the phrase because it's loaded. I'm a "real" man because I'm created in God's image, and no one can take that away from me. No one else gets to define my manhood - certainly not a woman.

borisdidnothingwrong · 2020-05-03T06:32:42+00:00

For me, the Real Man is one who simply did not give two cents for what anybody else thinks of him, not because he is arrogant or psychopathic, but because he knows, deep down, that if anyone were to evaluate his behavior they would see that he was kind to all, caring to his friends and loved ones, capable in his work and avocation, and generous to those others would consider undeserving.

Having strength of character in an often evil world is truly the manliest test of authenticity for a Real Man.

ZEGEZOT · 2020-05-03T13:39:23+00:00

I see a man as being anyone who has confidence in the fact he's a man, willing to help aid, and give advice to other men, and Be At LeAsT sIx FeEt TaLl.

tenchineuro · 2020-05-03T17:43:29+00:00

Apparently a real man [tm] is a man who does what random people in the internet direct him to do. For example, real men apparently do not eat quiche. Other egg dishes are apparently acceptable.

Metraxis · 2020-05-06T06:09:52+00:00

The idea of the "real man" is a canard of the worst kind. It is a way to re-frame toxic standards of masculinity as aspirational values, and can only harm the men who are inspired, indoctrinated or shamed into following those standards. Toxic masculinity exists, but it is not a thing straight men do. It is a thing that straight women think.

QueenNayru · 2020-05-03T06:49:20+00:00

I have not watched the video as of yet but I did want to comment on the usage of the phrase "real men"

In my experience when articles, magazine ads or market campaigns were just trying to capitalize on masculinity. If they could convince you that you could achieve some sort of man status by buying a product or participating in an activity they were happy.

But let's actually look at the phrase "a real man". Ironically enough in my experience I always found it an inclusive label . Like there was an additional thing I could be doing while still being manly. Manly in this sense is the equivalent to attractive to women. Primarily because women were attracted to men, so if you did manly things women would like you by default.

Sexual relationships aside. Male kinship is formed through similarities. Wether that be similar interests, Hobby's, activities, shared workspaces, ect. So adopting a masculine hobby was a way to form male kinship. (Look at bowling leagues for example).

So a "real man" might be an artificial thing but Id say they were based in activities that men enjoyed, fostered male friendships, and expected the activities that men could participate in.

Title	Q: What does it mean to be "real men"?
Author	TibsKirk
Upvotes	12
Comments	17
Date	May 3, 2020 4:51 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/gcku5k/q_what_does_it_mean_to_be_real_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/q-what-does-it-mean-to-be-real-men.853473 https://theredarchive.com/post/853473

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