(throwaway account because shit gets personal)

The way I understand it in this case, is that her needs only matter if the man has decided that her needs matter. And there are a good number of masculine/alpha men who would easily decide that her needs don't matter.

On the flipside, there are a lot of "beta," sensitive men who do put her feelings first and allow her to have the freedom to disagree. If that woman is at all worth her salt, she will reciprocate and respect him in the exact same way.

My mother, both grandmothers, and one of my sisters were all submissive, deferring, and obedient women, and their reward was bruises. I have spent my whole life fearing that same treatment, but maybe they weren't doing it right? If so, could a cunt like me have any hopes of treating my man better?

I thought that being independent and seeking equality would protect me, and I worked towards being successful in my career and being assertive and intelligent in a male-dominated career. But I feel like they are trying to make me feel smart in order to be PC--that really I'm dragging down the whole team.

I kept feeling anger in the back of my mind when I even heard mention of women being less than men. And I think the reason I got so angry was that because in the back of my mind I knew it was true. I know that as a group, women are just as important as men--we provide the children, after all--but individually I'm not important. Replace me with any other woman and nothing is lost. Replace a man with another man, and society loses his unique talents because men contribute in different ways than women. I'm not really good at being a woman, because I hate being a woman.

I hate knowing that the best thing I can do is just look pretty and bear children, because any woman can do that, so that doesn't make me special. I hate that I even want to be "special"--its so childish. I hate that my yearning for equality makes me a threat to men. I hate that just how my female relatives, my feelings will come last, even though that's what's best for my husband and children. I'm terribly jealous of how the things that make a man successful are the things that make a woman selfish. I hate that men call me smart not because I'm smart, but because they want to flatter me. I hate living with the fear that I will outlive my usefulness at 50 (or whenever my body can no longer be made to look attractive and my children move out).

I wish I was much more stupid--I wouldn't be thinking about this stuff, submissiveness would be so much easier, and I would probably be more attractive that way.

It's a very bitter pill--I'm starting to wonder if this red pill is my antibiotic or my cyanide.