Over generous Dad

LittleKick · 2016-07-10T17:00:13+00:00

This seems more like a personal finance issue than a RPW issue. But I’m going to take a stab at it anyway.

Your dad sounds a lot like my parents: very generous, probably expensive taste, but has a limited income. I usually feel guilty when they pay for me. When they pay for my adult siblings, I don’t get upset because I know my parents would or do pay for me as well. Do NOT let this affect your relationship with your siblings. I’m going to assume they are good people, but have yet to gain the adult skills you have. I’ve seen families destroyed over petty money issues and personally, I don’t think it’s worth it. My siblings are my best friends and to lose them would break my heart. Furthermore, anger and pettiness are not qualities we as RP women want to exude.

My advice is to positively encourage family meals or events at home. My family eats almost all of our meals at home. The food is always better than if we were to eat out anyway. Start simple by ordering in. You can save money on drinks, appetizers, dessert and a tip. Pick up your food at the restaurant and avoid a delivery fee. Work into homemade family dinners. You can organize by hosting at your house or your dad’s house and provide the main course yourself. Ask your siblings to provide one dish each, such as salad, rolls, side dish, or dessert (don’t get fancy - you can pick up a big bucket of cheap ice cream for a few bucks at the grocery store). There was a time when my parents actually had to send me to the store to do their grocery shopping because I’m the only person who can stay within a budget.

Overall, this would be a great time to take charge and put your RPW skills to good use, specifically this skills of cooking and budgeting for a family that a husband would appreciate. Think of it as Red Pill outreach or missionary work!

TheLemming · 2016-07-10T21:17:01+00:00

Forgive me if I've missed something as other redditors haven't broached this bit yet, but have you tried asking your siblings to help foot the bill? If so, what were their responses?

MsSadieDunham · 2016-07-10T16:18:12+00:00

I have a similar problem with my dad but I don't see him that often so I try not to let myself feel guilty. Do you guys always have to go out? What if you did dinners at home, or week yours, the next week your sister's, etc.

I share your pain though, my sisters are similar!

VigilantRedRooster · 2016-07-10T17:41:10+00:00

I have some ideas here but need some clarifying info first.

How old are you and your siblings and do any of you still live at home?

Has your Dad seen a reduction in his income from historic levels?

VigilantRedRooster · 2016-07-10T20:21:41+00:00

If you're familiar with the Love Languages, he sounds like gifts and acts of service are his established primary ways of expressing his love to his family, and this probably worked well for everybody during his financial heyday. Now is the time for him to start planning financially and mentally for retirement.

Many men whose identity is totally wrapped up in earning and providing don't transition well; some end up dead 6 months after retirement, after drifting with no sense of purpose. Others are a pain in the ass around the house for their wife for the first few months to a year, before settling into a new routine of hobbies and leisure activities. Keeping one's mind and body busy and active is critical! Tell him to start now, developing hobbies and interests that aren't expensive but will carry him through the transition period into retirement.

The most valuable asset he can share with you now is Quality Time. This doesn't have to cost a cent. See what you can do to start guiding your relationship in that direction, and help make sure an unmotivated sibling doesn't mooch and leech his retirement nest egg and peaceful existence away.

Perhaps you and siblings can take turns hosting a Family Dinner Night together at home, to have all of the bonhomie but not the restaurant prices? This could be supplemented with special nights out once in a while, where you treat your Dad to dinner out with just you and your kid; your siblings could do the same.

Title	Over generous Dad
Author	Aholahi
Upvotes	11
Comments	12
Date	July 10, 2016 2:54 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/4s5rhw/over_generous_dad/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/over-generous-dad.86285 https://theredarchive.com/post/86285

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