Commitment

teaandtalk · 2017-04-07T09:50:41+00:00

Don't do things because you hope he'll like them. Have you talked to him about it?

MsSadieDunham · 2017-04-07T14:44:31+00:00

You guys could do a small ceremony or just exchange rings privately.

teammeli · 2017-04-07T17:12:04+00:00

you don't have to agree with marriage to understand that it comes with major benefits in the legal sense. why not just get your papers signed together at town hall? i can see why someone would forgo the traditional wedding bells and all that, but just for legal purposes (ie changing the name, financial benefits, old age stuff) seems to make sense? there's a reason why people get married. sometimes it just makes sense.

ChokeDownDatPill · 2017-04-07T11:07:12+00:00

It's real easy to change your name at the provincial or state registry. The harder part is bills/IDs/all the little shit. Changing your name is usually a second thing people have to go do in addition to getting married (at least where I live).

Nyquil-Junkie · 2017-04-07T16:58:50+00:00

Another observation is in the long term. If you are not married, you will have no claim to his SS benefits, pensions or other things and visa versa. Child support and custody will be severely complicated. If one of you does the other wrong, you can't go to court and complain about it for damages, like in a divorce. The courts don't help those who play house.... as Judge Judy says. lol

Nyquil-Junkie · 2017-04-07T16:34:30+00:00

Is this some sort of moral objection to marriage or is there some legal/financial entanglements going on....

You can exchange power of attorneys. Give each other a legal charge over the other just in case. If you are not married and something happens, you'll be shit out of luck in more ways than one. The upside is if either of you attempt to abuse the POA, its a crime more easily dealt with than if your spouse tries to clean out a bank account and run or the like. It's active when there is an emergency, and dormant when there isn't. Each of you can very easily revoke it at any time.

Changing your name to his will cause a lot of legal confusion. If you hold yourself out as a couple, in most states after a time the state will consider you married anyway.

If you want to own property jointly, thats simple enough with a joint tenancy deed. The right of survivorship will eliminate any messy probate or wills issues.

What exactly is your objection to marriage?

fuqyoudale · 2017-04-07T10:01:13+00:00

Of course, he likes the idea of taking his last name. I'm just looking for some additional small gestures that I can bring to the table. Just looking to do something special to exchange tokens of nontraditional commitment since we are coming on another year of pure relationship bliss.

Willow-girl · 2017-04-07T16:48:23+00:00

Just shack up! That's what we do. :-)

Seriously, though ... you still have to be careful as to the legalities. Some states still have "common law marriage" laws on the books. And Social Security ... if you "hold yourself out" as a married couple (and changing your name to his might be interpreted as such), even if you're not legally married, can affect eligibility for disability benefits.

801735 · 2017-04-07T19:06:57+00:00

Any other ideas on ways you can without signing the full dotted line?

Well, none imo needed, just see the one commitment through, it should be enough.

wonderlandgirl111 · 2017-04-08T13:49:16+00:00

Why not just get married with a prenup? You will cheat yourself out of a lot of government benefits if you don't.

Title	Commitment
Author	fuqyoudale
Upvotes	9
Comments	18
Date	April 7, 2017 8:38 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/63z78k/commitment/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/commitment.87152 https://theredarchive.com/post/87152

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