Conversation Help

Il128 · 2017-03-08T05:05:53+00:00

Silence. Get comfortable with it. You are not a talking Bobby doll.

Look at her, your food, your drink, other women, the tv, your phone...

I will tune her out and hear every other word she says, if that, and maintain eye contact unless I've got something I want to do at that moment and often times I do (check my phone or even text someone).

Do not let a woman make you her "friend" on a date. Always have something more important to do than be a talk show host or personal comedian.

Bear-With-Bit · 2017-03-08T05:14:30+00:00

What u/Il128 said.

I'd like to add: Just her sitting pretty but contributing minimum or nothing to the conversation is unacceptable. Even if you don't think you have high smv, act like you do.

Act like you date a lot of smart, pretty girls who engage in the conversation. If the date is going badly after twenty to thirty minutes, just end the date. Get the check.

Goes it without saying don't do dinner dates.

RedGeneral25 · 2017-03-08T06:39:35+00:00

Oh dude this is the shit. If theres an akward silence and you where making eye contact before the silence (as you where talking) don't break the eye contact. This can come of as creepy but with some experience once your comfortable with it she will start to react and try to get a response. I think this is adorable it's like they get all embarassed lmao. In some cases girls will say " why are you looking at me like that" and ill be like "What do you mean" they get all flustered it's the shit.

king_kay_ · 2017-03-08T07:27:52+00:00

There is an old proverb of something along the lines of:

"If speaking is silver, then silence is golden"

So embrace it. The one who is more invested is the one who speaks more, because they are trying to get the other's reaction/attention.

Take slow deep breaths, maintain good eye contact and take your time answering back. There are always these silent lulls in conversation, no matter how deep/interesting it goes. Therefore take this opportunity to direct the conversation on where you want it to go. Talk about topics what you're interested in or how feel in the moment. Bring them to your frame.

Conversation itself is an art form and complex, a really broad topic. There are so many factors: Tonality, volume, speed, content, charisma, wit, storytelling etc.

Like with any skill, learn from others, apply theory into practice, evaluate.

Watch good conversationalists and note their behaviour, body language and conversational skills. Comedians are a usually a go to.

People often advise joining toastmasters or improv classes. I've personally never been, although I have thought about trying it. It puts you out there and should also help with your creativity.

third-eye-brown · 2017-03-08T07:31:14+00:00

Do more exciting and fun things until you have more to talk about. Get her talking, always make it fun, tease her about dumb shit.

The way I do this is to be in a situation that prompts talking, like going out and doing something cool in public (I like art so going to see art or music is good for me). Talk about what you're doing. If I'm in private put on Netflix and escalate.

BlackMarmoset · 2017-03-08T10:38:29+00:00

Think how it is with your friends and family: there is not always the need to talk, sometimes you can tell how comfortable you are with somebody simply seeing how comfortable you are with silence.

If she freaks out and breaks it, you have the edge, otherwise you can take your time and talk when you have something to say.

quicklogaccount · 2017-03-08T17:52:35+00:00

Are you talking about first one on one dates and shit?

Make it all personal and about emotions. Bring up conversations about traveling, food, beverages and concerts. These topics can easily be stretched to show status and value and they're very personal.

For the awkward silences the gold is touching, escalating and kissing asap. You can talk about whatever crap you'd like after that, if silence settles in you just kiss for some seconds.

Title	Conversation Help
Author	raizo87
Upvotes	7
Comments	7
Date	March 8, 2017 4:52 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5y5z9f/conversation_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/conversation-help.87387 https://theredarchive.com/post/87387

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