I hate to sound like a little bitch, but i just broke down right now. In my room trying to meditate and just replaying all the sttessful shit happening to me trying to let it go.

I was just so stressed today. I woke up feeling stressed for no reason, do you guys ever get that? It's like my body was like, 'well you're going to be going through shit most of today so at as well start feeling like shit now'.

It's just one of those moments when you're just feeling terrible feeling the world on your shoulders and you just need a damn beer or a cigarette. I almost bought a cigarette, which at this point i feel would've been a good idea. Only reason i didn't is cause it's leg day tomorrow and it'd make me feel like shit.

Worst thing that happened to me today was finding out that my schizophrenic cousin hasn't been taking his meds and beat up his mom. He told the cops that the voices in his head were telling him to kill her. He's on probation for hitting his mom a few months ago so he could be going back to jail for a while. He was like my brother. Going through that shit plus all the other stressful shit. It was just too much for me. Sorry for the rant.