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UK: Abused husband, 45, who suffered 12 years of beatings at hands of his hard-drinking teacher wife set up a spy camera to film her campaign of violence

furchfur

September 8, 2017
484 upvotes
/r/MensRights
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4864706/Abused-husband-set-secret-camera-film-wife-s-attacks.html
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Title UK: Abused husband, 45, who suffered 12 years of beatings at hands of his hard-drinking teacher wife set up a spy camera to film her campaign of violence
Author

furchfur

Upvotes 484
Comments 41
Date September 8, 2017 11:08 AM UTC
(8 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/6yu3qo/uk_abused_husband_45_who_suffered_12_years_of/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/uk-abused-husband-45-who-suffered-12-years-of.914643
https://theredarchive.com/post/914643
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Comments

[–]marcooni1 146 points147 points148 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Magistrates sentenced Tweedy to a 12-month community order with 120 hours' unpaid work and a restraining order for 12 months.

Pussypass?

[–]Proteus_Marius 54 points55 points56 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

If there's ever a question, just flip the genders and then marvel at the absurdity.

[–]TheRavenousRabbit 11 points12 points13 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Massive pussypass. Without a doubt.

[–]boringcarpets 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes, if you punch someone that's common assault, that's up to 6 months custodial in the UK. For a man obviously

[–]Mythandros 46 points47 points48 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

And he defends her. Battered husband syndrome?

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

He didn't defend her actions or say she was a good wife. He said she works hard and is a good teacher. Being a good wife and a good teacher are different.

[–]Mythandros 5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

It said he defended her in the article.

[–]Adanu0 47 points48 points49 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Prime example of pussy pass.

[–]number4ty7 21 points22 points23 points 8 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

Doubt he would have got anything without the video. Crazy world we live in. We are second class citizens. I would have got more punishment than that for one slap, never mind 12 years of it.

Drink would not an accepted mitigation in the UK. (For men anyway)

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 8 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

I would have got more punishment than that for one slap, never mind 12 years of it.

How about this then: 3 years for kicking a woman.

(https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/6yub7p/man_who_kicked_woman_on_bus_for_wearing_shorts/)

[–]number4ty7 3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Saw it. He did kick her in the face though. Deserved 3 years but for sure this woman should have got time for what she did. I'm working with the Duluth wheels just now to use them against my ex in family court as that is what they use daily against men. Will see how it goes, using Duluth pretty much everyone is in an abusive relationship.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Deserved 3 years but for sure this woman should have got time for what she did.

Yes, that was exactly my sentiment. Someone hitting another person in the face without provocation should spend some time in the slammer to think about their behaviour.

People tend to forget how easy it is to break something when you hit a person in the face. Both the guy on the bus and the abusive mother were lucky they didn't cause irreparable harm.

Good luck in court.

[–]salaryboy 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Could you share anything more about your situation?

[–]number4ty7 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

Partner of 13 years left me when I was depressed. My father was dying of cancer at the time. One day I woke up and eveything was gone. Kids, her, car, every document, every photo, even the fucking lawnmower. This was christmas 2015. I found out they were in Poland and started UN hague proceedings to get my children returned. Not a fun christmas on my own.

As soon as she was back she was in court trying to get a barring order. I proved she was lying and she was sent packing by the judge. I fought for access, she said I was insane, I had to get medical reports and was allowed to see my kids only in a supervised location. I won unsupervised access 2 hours on a wednesday and 8 hours on a sunday. She tried to get me removed from the house we owned jointly and stopped me taking the kids there. She then concocted a bunch of accusations, one of kidnapping, ( I was ten minutes early for handover, she turned up late on the phone, I let my daughter finish singing her song while my ex completed her call. She had been phoning the police to say I was refusing to handover the kids)

She said I was following her, I was not, she said I was abusing her friends, I was not. I had to go to court to defend this the day after my father died, I had a meltdown in court. Called her a bitch, said I hoped she got cancer. She got a safety order.

I now have skype access, 1/2 hour twice a week, the kids haven't seen any extended family on my side for two years. They are begging to see me. I raised them, I was a stay at home dad for the first 4 years, I did everything asked of me. Even raised one of hers from 9 to 19.

I protest parental alienation now, I was a child of it too but it was my father who abducted me. I have been invited to take part in a consultation with the justice department on the subject and I am back in court this month for the first time in a year to fight again. I have a good case built but I'm representing myself this time. I'm trying to use the duluth model to show the manipulative control she is wielding with our children.

I don't really know who I am anymore after this. I used to be daddy, I used to have a 4 bedroom house on a half acre. Starting again at my age is not funny, I tried to kill myself a year ago and ended up in hospital. I just feel like another statistic waiting to happen if I'm honest.

That's the short version. HTH

[–]salaryboy 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Well damn. I guess my situation could be (or could become) a lot worse. I'm sorry you were betrayed like this and hope you find who you are again someday soon.

[–]WomenHatingWarrior 10 points11 points12 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Hurr durr, he obviously did something to piss her off /s

[–]MaxStout808 6 points7 points8 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Bow dare he violate her privacy with a hidden camera?!

[–]HeForeverBleeds 5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Good thing he recorded it. The burden of proof for men accusing women of abuse is ridiculously high, while that of women accusing men of abuse is ridiculously low

Too bad he's defending her. It shows that even now she still has a mental / emotional hold over him, which is common in relationships with domestic violence

[–]Rethgil 4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

"The burden of proof for men accusing women of abuse is ridiculously high, while that of women accusing men of abuse is ridiculously low".

Sums up everything wrong with men's rights, or the lack of them, compared to women.

[–]HPGMaphax 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I wouldn't say the burden of proof is ridiculously high for men, maybe a bit too high, but stuff like this really needs to be proven beyond a reasonable doubt, as it could, and does, lead to tons of innocent sentences.

But I totally agree the burdon of proof for women is laughably low.

[–]heywoodidaho 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Cheeses Christ. Straight out of Pink Floyd The Wall. "They good well know when they get home at night their fat and psychopathic wives would thrash them within inches of their lives"

[–]Rethgil 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Has anyone noticed how whilst male drinking has become frowned upon, female drinking has been portrayed as 'funny' and normal, especially when it comes to actual mothers binge drinking wine?

I feel this is really storing up problems and damage for the future. Not to mention the cost for the poor kids of these mothers.

[–]HPGMaphax 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I wouldn't say this is much of a problem, tbh.

I haven't seen anyone portraying alcoholic mothers nicely, but I could be wrong.

My point is, that men usually drink a lot more, at least openly, and so it makes sense to focus more on that. I wouldn't say it's frowned upon either, unless it's a huge addiction or something.

[–]boringcarpets 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

So she gets

12-month community order with 120 hours' unpaid work and a restraining order for 12 months

For three counts of common assault which is in itself a pathetic charge for 12 years of sustained violence. You get more of a sentence for road rage, you get 6 months if you kick a dog

[–]letsgetrandy 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

My god, the grammar in that article. Was it written by a 14-year-old?

[–]superhobo666 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Did he get arrested for recording her without her consent?

[–]greenisin 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Depends on the laws where he lives. He might have committed a more serious crime.

[–]hugboxer 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Why is "but she was drunk when she hit him" somehow supposed to be a mitigating factor?

[–]Darddeac 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Archive that shit.

DailyMail is not pro-men's rights iirc.

[+]The-beat-man -9 points-8 points-7 points 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

don't date and marry drinkers if you don't drink

[–]bufedad 24 points25 points26 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah... because him drinking would have prevented her from abusing him.

[–]PillTheRed 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Ahhh yes, she isn't to blame. He should have known she would get drunk and beat him. How dare he not take take her being an alcoholic into account. Shame, shame on him for marrying someone who was abusive alcoholic, totally his fault...

Seriously? When you say stuff like this, and shift the blame onto him. All you are doing is removing agency from women like this. She could have not drank. She could have gotten help if she couldn't stop. She could have simply not beet him. Nope, it's his fault, somehow, and for reasons...

Let's flip the genders here and see if your logic still holds any weight. Women, if you don't want to get beaten, don't marry or date someone who drinks. That's fucked up. Plenty of people can drink, and not beat on their spouse. Get out of here with your pussy pass, shaming bullshit.

[–]The-beat-man -2 points-1 points0 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

telling men that don't drink not to date and marry women who don't drink is not giving women a pussy pass. your reaction to this suggest you have a drinking problem who is triggered by people who say do not drink or hang out with drinkers to reduce your chances of problems. alcohol is the most dangerous drug that cause more harm that illegal drugs like cocaine and heroine. this is no different that telling people to lock their doors to reduce the chances of robbers break and entering.

[–]PillTheRed 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't drink at all tbh...lol. Well, maybe a beer if I go out, or a glass of wine. That's about it though, nice try. Sure, alcohol is dangerous, but that isn't what we are talking about. It's actually how alcohol isn't the reason, and the women, and her alone, is to blame for her actions. Saying it was alcohol, or some other reason removes agency from a grown adult amking decisions for themselves, and dealing with the consequences of said decision.

[+]Thekidseateverything -21 points-20 points-19 points 8 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

"She" is a man. You've got a dude in a dress beating a dude in pants.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

Heard here first. The reason women aren't abusers is because when women abuse they lose their woman card and get issued a man card. So there you have it. All abusers are by technicality men.

This explains everything. Woman rape a little boy? Nope that's a man doing that rape'n. Mother killed her child? Nope it's that bloke what done killed that poor young'uns

[–]HPGMaphax 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Pretty sure that was just a joke in bad taste...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Poe's law. That's what /s is for.

[–]HPGMaphax 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

No reason to read so much into things lol, thats what the femenists do ;)

[–]Thekidseateverything -1 points0 points1 point 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

That was far from a joke. Did you see the pictures? That's a man, baby.

[–]HPGMaphax 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

You do you

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