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It’s Not Just Mike Pence. Americans Are Wary of Being Alone With the Opposite Sex.

NinoBergese

July 3, 2017
37 upvotes
/r/MensRights
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/01/upshot/members-of-the-opposite-sex-at-work-gender-study.html
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Title It’s Not Just Mike Pence. Americans Are Wary of Being Alone With the Opposite Sex.
Author

NinoBergese

Upvotes 37
Comments 23
Date July 3, 2017 5:50 AM UTC
(9 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/6ky3z4/its_not_just_mike_pence_americans_are_wary_of/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/its-not-just-mike-pence-americans-are-wary-of.918998
https://theredarchive.com/post/918998

Comments

[–]mrwhibbley 21 points22 points23 points 9 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

I wonder how many men are concerned out of fear of false allegations?

[–]NinoBergese[S] 5 points6 points7 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yea, that's what I was thinking. Which is why I posted, wanted to see what others had to say about it.

[–]TigPlaze 3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

That's exactly what I worry about. Feminists keep pushing to make it easier and easier to convict with flimsy or no evidence. If they had it their way, a man could be convicted of rape by an accusation alone and with no trial.

[+]mrwhibbley -8 points-7 points-6 points 9 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

I think those are the extremists and we really need to keep a level head and realize that. That doesn't mean we shouldn't fight against the crazy extremists but not to lump most feminists into one big pile.

[–]bufedad 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

It's not extremists. Feminists, as a rule, "believe the victim".

As a rule, any rape victim who can't get her rapist convicted is a problem.

There is no room in their thought process for whether or not the accused is innocent.

And.... here's the kicker... it's not just feminists.

[–]mrwhibbley -4 points-3 points-2 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

It really is the extremists. They are the loudest. They are the ones posting online, on Reddit, on tumblr, protesting and making YouTube videos. The 90% of average demises aren't extremists.

[–]bufedad 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

It isn't. It isn't feminist extremists. It isn't even just feminists.

Society as a rule believes an accusation means they are guilty.

[–]mrwhibbley -3 points-2 points-1 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

But that is true of most crimes. Most of the time someone is accused of something, regardless of what it is, people assume guilt. Sex crimes are just harder to prove and carry a larger stigma.

[–]bufedad 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

They are harder to prove you are innocent of as well. Someone else said it best, rape is a crime so serious that not even innocence is a defense.

[–]mrwhibbley 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree with you there. And the evidence of rape is the same evidence of consensual sex. Just like the difference between borrowing my car, and stealing my keys and taking it is my word versus yours. That's why rape is such a problem. The guilty can get away with it and the innocent are butchered by the public regardless.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Look beyond the internet. They are teaching generations in college and universities, getting books published, laws endorsed, have media backup, etc.

You think stuff like The Duluth Model just came out of THIN AIR?!?

[–]electricalnoise 8 points9 points10 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Even the Mike Pence thing...

I'm definitely no fan of the guy, but I'm in the same position. I have no interest in being alone with any woman who isn't my wife. I don't need to go out to dinner with a woman. Honestly, my wife might start to think something was up if i did.

I just don't see his statements as being sexist so much as respectful to his marriage, and i don't understand the outage.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm with you. I don't understand the outrage on this one.

[–]RunawayGrain 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't understand the outrage on this one.

The theory is that he's a sexist who's negative view of women leads him to not want to be alone with them. This is actually referred to as the Billy Graham rule, and quite a few politicians have used it over the years.

The rule has been criticized for viewing women merely as potential objects of lust as well as restricting opportunities for women to network with male colleagues. Tracey Bianchi argues that it means "women are marginalized and cut out of opportunities to network, share their ideas, and advance in the organization.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy_Graham_rule

[+]Lumenis points 9 years ago* [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

Genuine question: why don't you want to go out with a woman that isn't your wife? If you love your wife, she loves you, and both trust each other, what are the reasons you wouldn't go?

If it's just a collegue, or a friend, and everything's clear, I don't see any reason not to, except "I don't want people to think wrongly" or "I know my partner don't/wouldn't agree".

If it's a drink in the evening, I can understand how one can think wrongly, with the seductive atmosphere it implies, but for a lunch, or a business meeting? Maybe I'm too naive, but I don't see what's wrong about it.

[–]bufedad 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Genuine question: why don't you want to go out with a woman that isn't your wife? If you love your wife, she loves you, and both trust each other, what are the reasons you wouldn't go?

1) Few people who have an affair start off thinking, I'm going to have an affair. It's something that develops over time. If you prevent it from developing, you prevent it from happening.

2) False accusations, when there are only two people involved, a false accusation is career ending.

Those are just the two that I think are pertinent.

For me, I don't go to dinner alone with a woman. I also communicate with my wife whenever something happens that's weird or untoward. If I feel someone flirted with me, I let her know. We also talk about how I felt about it (flattered, tempted, etc...).

For us communication is key. That's our relationship.

[–]v574v 7 points8 points9 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

In every question men found those scenarios more appropriate than women did but let's all just focus on men as the real problem...

[–]_pulsar 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

First thing I thought about as well. God damn these people will do anything to continue blaming men for everything.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Given the overly litigious nature of American society and the danger posed by false accusations, can you blame them ?

[–]thrway_1000 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

https://archive.is/xP0Wi

[–]DaeusPater 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

If you notice women are more likely to avoid meetings than men.

[–]ThisIsARedditAcc 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I honestly can understand why both men and women may be hesitant with work meetings or lunches. For me, signaling that I'm unavailable because I'm in a relationship is freeing and has allowed me to better connect with my male peers. This shouldn't be a solution though. But I don't know of anything better :(

[–]ThisCatMightCheerYou 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

You seem sad :( ... Here's a picture/gif of a cat. Hopefully it'll cheer you up: http://random.cat/i/tumblr_m4qgtaTpka1ruesl6o1_1280.jpg The internet needs more cats. It's never enough..

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