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'Reliable honest' husband who handed his wife, 51, all of his ready cash in a divorce 15 years ago is told he must up her maintenance after she blows the lot on 'unwise property investments'. Never Get Married.

furchfur

February 6, 2017

234 upvotes

/r/MensRights

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Title	'Reliable honest' husband who handed his wife, 51, all of his ready cash in a divorce 15 years ago is told he must up her maintenance after she blows the lot on 'unwise property investments'. Never Get Married.
Author	furchfur
Upvotes	234
Comments	22
Date	February 6, 2017 3:11 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/5seqh3/reliable_honest_husband_who_handed_his_wife_51/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/reliable-honest-husband-who-handed-his-wife-51-all.932573 https://theredarchive.com/post/932573

Comments

[–]MrTyko 12 points13 points14 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Jex117 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[+]DangZagnut points 9 years ago* [recovered] (14 children) | Copy Link

Marriage is a bad rap for everyone involved, other than the billion dollar wedding industry.

There's no benefit to it. It's easy to get stuck in and a pain in the ass to get out of.

[–]richardnorth 38 points39 points40 points 9 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]furchfur[S] 11 points12 points13 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]skintwo 5 points6 points7 points 9 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]Santaball 5 points6 points7 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]skintwo 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Santaball 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]skintwo 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]issan1mountain 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ISOanexplanation 4 points5 points6 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]skintwo 5 points6 points7 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

a) laws in many states have been revised - for example, MA, MI I know specific examples with numbers. The nightmares that were once common have really been stubbed out. I know someone in MI who was aggregiously cheated on and he divorced her - and his income was OVER 500K BASE, probably pulled in over 1M a year, and hers was 78K or less, I think? She got - as support for their kid and herself - no more than 1400/month, which stops when he goes to college. The wage differential phases out really low and doesn't come into it. This is what is much more common now. This means that any spouse who gives up their career to raise a kid is at risk, man or woman.

b) usually the woman has stayed home, due to the rigors of breastfeeding (unfortunately more rare than it should be - hardest thing I've ever done), the one who gets maternity leave and thus is already seperated from work if things get so shitty that someone has to stay home, etc.

c) everyone should have a prenup. EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE A PRENUP.

d) settling the divorce without lawyers on both sides or a bunch of shittyness was best for everyone including my kid. It was unfair to me in a big way. But it was best for the kid, and if we had a messy divorce it would have eaten up what money I had anyway, most likely. Thank god that he and I had identical degrees or earning power. If he was a total loser I could have had to pay ongoing support, which is total TOTAL BULLSHIT. People are INCENTIVIZED to not go and find work. Grr. When I hear guys on here getting married, young, to horrible lazy women who seem to not want to do anything but chill, I just want to scream for them to stop having sex immediately and freaking leave. Cause once you have a kid, you are trapped for the rest of your life.

[–]MelkorHimself 17 points18 points19 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points14 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]contractor808 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]DevilishRogue 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Pingaz99 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[+]bolunez points 9 years ago* [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link

This situation sucks, but being married to a woman that I love and trust is the best thing that has happened to me. There's a lot of hate towards marriage in this sub sometimes and it really bothers me.

Don't let the bad apples discourage you. Be smart, name the right choices.

[–]issan1mountain 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]MuhTriggersGuise 4 points5 points6 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]bufedad 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

This situation sucks, but being married to a woman that I love and trust is the best thing that has happened to me.

I feel the same about my wife.

There's a lot of hate towards marriage in this sub sometimes and it really bothers me.

Marriage laws are stacked against you. It's not hate for marriage.

Getting married is the same as giving the UK total control over our nuclear arsenal. I mean, we completely trust the UK, but could we, or should we, ever trust them that much?

Don't let the bad apples discourage you. Be smart, make the right choices.

It is not your choices that destroy you, it's someone else's. If they decide they don't love you anymore, have a brain injury that changes their personality, or even has a physical injury that leads to an addiction to pain killers (which leads to heroin addiction)... it's not your choices you have to worry about. You have control over those. It's her choices you have to worry about, and you have no control over those.