Should I have to buy my girlfriend an engagement right

Saintmyname · 2016-10-18T23:47:47+00:00

I would advise against marriage.

Imnotmrabut · 2016-10-19T00:56:35+00:00

Is she a modern, intelligent free thinking women?

Why is she falling for a decades old advertising ruse by the American Diamond and Jewellery industry?

If America Is That Land Of The Free, Brave And Free Thinking is she a slave to other's minds, business savvy and bank balances, or is she (Fill In Blank)?

You may have to abandon and move on!

genderbent · 2016-10-18T23:38:14+00:00

I'd just point out that while it may be a tradition for the husband-to-be to pay for the ring, there are plenty of other marriage traditions she most certainly would be opposed to, like the bride's family paying for the wedding. Oh, and dowries. Screw tradition, set your own rules to live by together.

HmmWhatsThat · 2016-10-19T09:59:09+00:00

You don't need a men's argument, if it doesn't feel right then it's not right. Fuck what anyone else says.

There is no right set of gender roles, you have to create the ones you agree with and find someone who can closely match your expectations.

ThePigmanAgain · 2016-10-19T09:32:44+00:00

If you're dumb enough to get married, chances are you're dumb enough to pay for the thing yourself.

Fakcount · 2016-10-19T09:44:21+00:00

"I will gladly sign away all my rights as a man,....and here is an expensive gift to you to celebrate this event!!!!"

Rasalom72 · 2016-10-19T02:16:45+00:00

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2016-10-19T08:39:58+00:00

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Rasalom72 · 2016-10-19T00:00:01+00:00

So, the way I've framed it with my beloved is that I'll buy his ring and he'll buy mine. Because I know he wants to be the one to propose (and he wants to choose the time we get officially engaged), I'll be buying his ring after he proposes to me.

Either way, I don't believe the cost should be split. That sounds incredibly silly. That's just not how these things go. It doesn't feel right. And, I mean, if you're getting married, all of your money is going the same place in the end. Let her have the tradition she wants.

iamthetruemichael · 2016-10-19T00:42:03+00:00

OP, run. If she's already expecting you to take all the financial burden it won't be any better when she has you legally via marriage.

chaircushion · 2016-10-19T09:40:45+00:00

Having a guy who pays for an expensive ring is a status symbol she can use to brag about. She doesn't care about you, only about status.

The day you can't provide her with more status symbols to brag about is the day she leaves you. She warned you. Don't marry her.

v573v · 2016-10-19T11:13:07+00:00

Traditionally, men were the sole provider of wealth and would present women with a ring to prove their ability to provide wealth for the couple's future life together and women were domestic caregivers.

Today, men are typically the primary provider and a secondary caregiver and women are the secondary provider and primary caregiver, or some sort of combination.

She needs to prove her value as either: a strong domestic caregiver; a combination caregiver/provider; or a strong financial provider.

Her and your roles depends on what you both will need as partners moving forward.

You want her to symbolically prove her value as a financial provider so most likely she will have to take on that role in your marriage.

How's your ability to make sandwiches or clean toilets?

Girl-fodder · 2016-10-19T06:56:18+00:00

Let her propose to you. She will need to by the ring then. Any man who proposes to a woman is an idiot and any man who accepts the proposal from a woman is an idiot.

Bailie2 · 2016-10-19T03:02:13+00:00

It's your choice and hers if she wants to marry you. Plus tradition is her family pays for the wedding.

cld8 · 2016-10-19T05:49:37+00:00

Are you going to combine your finances after marriage? If so, it's a moot point. If you are not (and hopefully getting a prenup if your incomes are unequal) then it is an issue.

Traditionally, the man pays for the ring. I don't think the man should have to pay for the ring, but I don't blame a girl for expecting it. If she insists you pay for it, I wouldn't push this one too far. Just get her a ring that you can afford. Half of the amount you would have spent had she contributed would be fine.

2016-10-19T08:24:46+00:00

If you two want to get married, you need to decide which parts of the traditional courting that you do like, don't like, and even go further with that in the marriage planning.

Then find a compromise. I hate it when people turn this into an MRA or feminist issue. Maybe she doesn't want a diamond ring. Maybe she wants something that comes from the heart, something that had actual thought put into it.

Have a discussion with her, and compromise. If you can't do that here, your future marriage is already a failure.

lmicro70 · 2016-10-19T19:30:23+00:00

Go to your local family court and sit in on some divorce and custody hearings. Read The Rational Male, to help you understand the nature of women. If you do still decide to make the silly choice to get married after that, at least there is some redpill techniques to keep you ahead of the game.

Get her a Cubic Zirconia and let her think its a real diamond. Don't let her get it appraised though. If you split after marriage she has no obligation to return it to you.

rodvanmechelen · 2016-10-19T20:11:41+00:00

You should also go to Sandman's channel on YouTube and listen to a few dozen of his videos, after which you will fully understand why you should NOT get engaged.

DevilishRogue · 2016-10-19T22:14:17+00:00

You should pay for the ring. And she should pay an equivalent amount for a fancy watch for you as a token of her commitment to you.

DougDante · 2016-10-19T00:56:52+00:00

It is custom for you to buy her a ring to symbolize your seriousness in marrying her.

If it's a deal breaker between you, perhaps you should reconsider your relationship, and whether this is symbolic of a deeper issue.

Title	Should I have to buy my girlfriend an engagement right
Author	fegasaurus
Upvotes	13
Comments	39
Date	October 18, 2016 11:29 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/5874pz/should_i_have_to_buy_my_girlfriend_an_engagement/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/should-i-have-to-buy-my-girlfriend-an-engagement.939514 https://theredarchive.com/post/939514

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