Unable to get hard when it's time

tossa01 · 2017-07-18T00:26:55+00:00

I have the exact same issue and have been dealing with it for the past decade due to nerves and substance abuse.

It took me a long time to realize that it was mostly happening when the girl was extremely horny and pushy in bed. The girls usually try very, very hard in these situations to get you going and it just makes it worse and more frustrating and embarrassing for everyone. Most times it would be after I told her to stop and a few minutes later I will initiate and be fine.

I'm sorry that I can't offer real advice because I still deal with this myself. All I can say is in ten years of activity I have never had a girl belittle me or break up with me due to ED, and from my partners' behavior and attitudes in these situations I believe that this issue is far, far more common than it is mentioned.

It's important to keep that in mind because even in this extreme case, frame is still the trump card. If you play it off right the girl will usually blame herself or better yet say don't worry because she knows what it's like to have sex when you aren't in the mood.

It's important that you stay healthy and attractive, initiate sex whenever you are ready and put your best effort into it so it feels like a special treat instead of an occasional chore.

Once I let a plate tag along with me to Vegas. It was the trip of a lifetime for her and we spent all day foreplay in the resort hot tub and secluded tables. When we finally get back to the room I can't get up. We end up going to bed without sex (I am hardly sleeping due to impotent rage) we wake up the next morning and rush to check out. long ass car ride later we get home and have marathon sex back at my house. experiences like that help to take the pressure off yourself in shitty situations

a0001_i1100 · 2017-07-18T00:30:11+00:00

Have her blow you. Try no jacking off at all until you resolve the getting hard situation. Seriously, even if you bust quick it's better than not at all or not getting hard. Read sex God method. Most importantly don't over analyze this, the and more you think and dwell on it, the more it will mess with your mind. Most of the time, staying hard, Prematurely ejaculating and not being able to cum is all mental and not a dysfunction of the cock. Take comfort in the fact that this girl digs you and you're taking action to fix this.
Good luck

AwakenedSovereign · 2017-07-18T00:41:58+00:00

I'll get flamed for saying this but I can't get hard with condoms.. like period. I'll get half hard, get it in and then fall flat. Then again I had two monogamous GFs from 17-26 and I fucked them raw every single time for years. So I kinda got used to it.

Other things are:

Porn

Deathgrip

Substances (alcohol, stimulants, weed, other drugs)

Good ol' fashioned performance anxiety.. getting to know the girl a bit and having time to hang out and have a drink or two first will help

Also don't be afraid to try things. Toys. Floggers. Cockrings. Whatever. Focus on what turns YOU on. As un-redpill as it is, I usually get turned on with cuddling, and a little body worship, and eating pussy. And then I ramp it up into more primal/dominant shit, which also turns me on, but only if I warm myself up to it not if I go ham right outta the gate

oldredder · 2017-07-18T10:41:16+00:00

you're over-planning, although you have little choice, and you're over-worried and that's messing with the mojo. You need more make-out time and you need to let her do the kinky things she wants to do including initiating. I get much harder much faster when the girl puts her effort in

If she gets on top of me, if she makes out with me aggressively or does anything not passive, I go soft. And if she just lays there, I can't get hard because it's like she's waiting for me to get hard and it just kills the mood.

it's because you're trying to use a reddit/trp template to force an organic moment and that makes it feel fake and wrong and she knows it by instinct and it's all ruined.

don't!

Pillredpopper · 2017-07-18T03:58:33+00:00

if shes truly an 8, rest assured in the fact that if you destroy her and her flatmates can hear, your stock goes up. There is no downside to people hearing you smash. There is a downside to "he isn't getting hard". And I do realize, only having sex 5 times before, your still figuring it out and everything, but seriously, people hearing you will not diminish you in any way. If anything, the other girls will be curious, and the dudes might give you a high five. Own it, loud and proud.

I've had many instances of platonic friends within earshot of my activity, male or female, my or her friends, you do you and nail it good, no one thinks down on you, they might be annoyed because they cant sleep. But remember this, if your a guy and nailing a hot babe, males or females will not judge or look down on you. Because the guys like nailing hot girls, and the hot girls like being nailed.

MonTrenA · 2017-07-18T00:45:03+00:00

Are you on any stimulants? Preworkout powders break my dick.

gg_s · 2017-07-18T05:22:09+00:00

Your dick knows better than you do. She's probably not an HB8 and you probably don't want to rip her clothes off, pin her against the wall and fuck her into another dimension.

It sucks because this girl and I hit it off very well.

Doesn't matter. She's obviously not sexy or feminine enough to rouse the beast within.

Oh well. On to the next one.

Pitchfork51 · 2017-07-18T04:49:50+00:00

Ever thought about coming out of the closet

Title	Unable to get hard when it's time
Author	ChinNoseJaw
Upvotes	2
Comments	12
Date	July 18, 2017 12:12 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/6nx6ds/unable_to_get_hard_when_its_time/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/unable-to-get-hard-when-its-time.94291 https://theredarchive.com/post/94291

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