For those of you working on yourself, how do you deal with negative feelings such as loneliness?

beefstew32 · 2017-07-26T02:30:03+00:00

stay busy, become passionate at something and then master it.

I make music, so that's what i do. that's it.

GunnarX · 2017-07-26T04:18:08+00:00

The main thought that has me okay with being lonely is the fact that I'm lonely BUT aware. Imagine you were in a marriage with a dead bedroom and wife/kids you didn't even like and having your soul sucked from you day by day.

Loneliness doesn't sound too bad now, does it?

iamzeuss · 2017-07-26T07:57:21+00:00

Dude,

Embrace the fucking pain. It is there FOR A REASON. Pain is there because you have shortcomings, and you have shortcomings because you run from the pain. Do you see the paradox?

deville05 · 2017-07-26T10:38:48+00:00

Find a thing that you can do without deviating from your goals and also involves people. We need people.

ReadyForChange87 · 2017-07-26T07:26:47+00:00

I know this feeling all too well. What I do to distract myself and numb the pain is to sign up on several penpal sites. I have an interest in Asia so I look for korean and japanese girls. For korean girls I use Kakao app and for japanese LINE app. I just talk with them. If I ever feel bored, lonely or can't sleep at night I message all of them (copy/paste message FTW) and chat with the one who replies first. You don't have to feel attracted. For me learning new languages and cultures is always interesting. I'm from The Netherlands and I never got along with most dutch people so for me this works. I'll probably end up with a korean or japanese wife someday :))

oldredder · 2017-07-26T04:11:15+00:00

mental re-programming to erase the chemical potentials that lead to loneliness. Gone. Can't happen ever again.

drugs + exercise + changing all the things I do + forcing away all memories of stupid shit after already extracting the key indicators of what went right (to repeat) or wrong (to avoid) without having to deal with the full "scenery" of the memories of decades past

BrodinsOats · 2017-07-26T05:30:04+00:00

You're lonely because you're spending all of your time with these solitary activities. You need to pursue socialization as a component of self-improvement, too.

You're lucky that you're in college. Join an intramural sport, find some interesting club, take up a martial art, or invite a classmate to study or go for a hike or something.

Frigzy · 2017-07-26T08:31:52+00:00

This is the toughest period. You need to start trusting in your own capacity to navigate your life in the right direction. In a year or two you will probably not even remember what it's like anymore to be as lonely as you are now because you've made new friends by doing things that allow you to grow.

Yes, it's a tough time right now I can imagine, but don't give in. It's at the toughest times that you need to give in the least. Trust on your ability to change for the positive and work for it. You will get there, but nobody can give you an answer when or how exactly.

just_averagejoe · 2017-07-26T11:54:36+00:00

Personally, I never feel lonely. It could be because I'm a very introverted/lone wolf type of a guy, it could be the fact that I enjoy watching myself grow more than socializing, it could be that my job is extremely social, and/or it could be the fact that I DO have a rather large social group who still invites me out once or twice a month.

I was going to suggest going out to meet some people, but it's rather difficult to bond with other men if you're only seeing them once a month, as most men determine friendship by their frequency of interaction with an individual.

Or start spinning plates. If you start practicing now you'll eventually be able to have them spin themselves while only seeing them once a week or less. Plus the fact you have priorities above them will make them stick around longer and perceive you as the prize. If you're fun enough, sometimes girls will invite you to do shit with their friends. Doing that once a month should be more than enough to prevent feelings of loneliness.

Mudpielol · 2017-07-26T13:15:58+00:00

I enjoy my own company. If there are opportunities to be social, I go out. If not, I can be fine on my own. And I can always go out by myself and meet people.

Title	For those of you working on yourself, how do you deal with negative feelings such as loneliness?
Author	shadowsofparadise
Upvotes	6
Comments	13
Date	July 26, 2017 2:23 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/6pl3p9/for_those_of_you_working_on_yourself_how_do_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/for-those-of-you-working-on-yourself-how-do-you.94700 https://theredarchive.com/post/94700

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