"like a man"

so, im extremely depressed. ive been considering suicide. im all alone. i have a number of mental conditions. ive been in a lot of serious pain lately. really. im not lying. truly unbearable pain. in an act of desperation i called my psychiatrist. he told me he was asleep. he asked me why id called him, i just began crying. his answer: "no, talk to me like a man. dont do that. be a man". i just hung up. i cant cry if im all alone and have suicidal depression and am in unbearable pain because im a male. i feel all hopeless. dont know what to do. sorry if i shouldnt have posted this here.