Sorry if the story if too long I just wanted to paint a clear picture.

Last weekend I went to a friends house party in Ottawa, there was about 25-30 people at the party. This one drunk bitch was being a real snob and had a real superiority complex. When i got drunk enough i had the great pleasure to run into the girl in the kitchen, where she was just being a total cunt. She stole my beer and dumped it into the sink. When I said wtf was that for she simply stated that it was because I was a fat greasy bastard and didn't need another drink because i was a lightweight (when she couldn't stand without swaying like a fucking tree in a windstorm). I then at that point called her a gaping cunt and she proceed to slap me once then I turned around and she hit me with a hammer-fist on the back of my neck. I shoved her away because i had more than a foot on her and double her weight. The bitch then picked up a wooden cutting-board and hit me with it like a fucking chair in the WWE. I then turned around and slapped the shit out of her and she fell down. Her friend then proceeded to tell me that the owner of the house will kick my ass and kick me out of the party. In that time the owner kicked both the dumb bitches out and that is when the girls decided to call the cops. Some time past and the cops showed up and wanted to speak with me. And then the cops started asking witnesses what happened and over a dozen witnesses said that the bitch was the aggressor and I was defending myself. The cops then proceeded to take the girl away. For some kind of assault charge and because she was 17 and the drinking age in Ontario is 19 she was also a minor with control of an alcoholic beverage. At that point the girl is crying like she was being kidnapped and the girls friend was calling the girls parents. Then the party went on and I have this troy to share with the world.