I got banned from menslib for trying to talk about it there, so I guess I'll give the inexcusable shitlords of /r/mensrights a chance and see if I'm allowed to discuss topics related to gender and sexuality here.

The topic was domestic violence and the surprising amount of it perpetrated by women and what the causes for it are. (the thread, for reference, since it summarizes the relevant information well). I happen to think a big part of that is what I describe as toxic femininity, which is to say, women playing into bad and destructive gender roles the way "toxic masculinity" involves men playing into those same kinds of roles. In the case of men I think it DV has a lot to do with society glorifying violence and telling men it's their job to be in control. In the case of women I think the message is that for them violence is okay, they're girls and it doesn't matter if they lash out angrily because it's NBD. To an extent there's some truth to it - for example, in the stats for DV, it shows that while women hit as much, men cause more injuries, because the simple reality is that men are, in general, physically stronger than women are.

But I don't think that's an excuse, and I think society needs to send the message that hitting people (for reasons other than self defense or mutually agreed-upon sport) is wrong no matter who you are, and that being a girl isn't a pass on poor behavior. Which i think is part of a general toxic social norm that says it's not as big of a deal when women act poorly or harmfully.

So that's all pretty much what I didn't get the chance to say on menslib , I guess I'd like to thank the mods over there for finally driving me here (unless I get banned here over whatever, then IDEK)

FWIW I'm not primarily posting to whine about my ban, I'm posting because I, y'know, actually wanted to discuss this topic with other people who consider this topic worth discussing.

Apologies if any/all of this is well-worn ground over here but it's a novel thought for me.