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Why Gay Men Don’t Need Feminism - Part 3: Gay Bashing

RedditorJemi

September 20, 2015

34 upvotes

/r/MensRights

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Title	Why Gay Men Don’t Need Feminism - Part 3: Gay Bashing
Author	RedditorJemi
Upvotes	34
Comments	37
Date	September 20, 2015 5:11 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/3lozwh/why_gay_men_dont_need_feminism_part_3_gay_bashing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/why-gay-men-dont-need-feminism-part-3-gay-bashing.970994 https://theredarchive.com/post/970994

Comments

[–]pnw_diver 11 points12 points13 points 10 years ago (41 children) | Copy Link

[–]berger77 11 points12 points13 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points11 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]pnw_diver 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheDude41 8 points9 points10 points 10 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Azothlike 8 points9 points10 points 10 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

Hate? I disagree.

Straight and bisexual women view gay and bisexual men with condescension, not hate, IMO. They're a cute novelty, a curious but altogether insufficient, insignificant and inferior person, who's good for occasional fashion and shopping advice or talk about penises, but doesn't really have any value as a human being outside of that. Not all straight/bi women, of course. But certainly the majority. You really learn how women are taught to interact with men(through a lens of expectant social superiority/advantage), and how so many women don't know how to interact with one when they're not interacting from a position of social advantage.

That has, at the least, been my personal observations and experiences. Straight and bisexual women treat non-straight men like you would treat somebody else's dog.

Perhaps gay women support and respect them a little more, but in the statistics of things, this proves to be pretty insignificant, as bisexual women outnumber gay women 5 to 1, and straight women outnumber gay women 94 to 1.

[–]blueoak9 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Azothlike 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]gatorademebitches -1 points0 points1 point 10 years ago (33 children) | Copy Link

[–]blueoak9 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]alXing 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (29 children) | Copy Link

[–]ruffykunn 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]alXing 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]ruffykunn 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

Firstly, I'm sorry you've experienced that :(.

I'm in Germany, honestly not sure if bi-phobia is less present among queer people here. Anyway, the meetup is part of this city's queer organisation who also do meetups for lesbian/bi women, trans people, asexual people, poly people etc.

At first everyone assumed me to be gay, but whenever I told an tell them I'm bi everyone in that organisation has been accepting :). The same holds true for people outside I interact with (I'm not out to everyone however).

I've found bi-invisibility to be the bigger problem than bi-phobia in the people I interact with. And imho it's the bigger problem in society at large. Harder to overcome than bi-phobia.

That and not enough of a support network among bi people, be that on the local, state, national or international level.

There should be way more bi people coming to our queer organisation just by sheer numbers, but they either don't dare to or are not aware of their own bisexuality or our organisation is not reaching out enough to them (or, all three of those).

Sometimes the order of the letters LGBT pisses me off.

Honestly, TBGL would be more appropriate in the order of how much those groups are currently in need of help and coming together globally.

[–]alXing 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]gatorademebitches 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link

[–]alXing 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

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[–]gatorademebitches 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

[–]blueoak9 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]gatorademebitches 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

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[–]alXing 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

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[–]blueoak9 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]gatorademebitches -1 points0 points1 point 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]blueoak9 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]gatorademebitches 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]blueoak9 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]RandyDanderson 4 points5 points6 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]alXing 12 points13 points14 points 10 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

Understandably, it seems you've never been around many gay-dominated communities, online or otherwise.

The answer is no. Women are more commonly worshipped as deities and role models in the gay community. Titles like "Goddess" and "Queen" are used as prefixes when discussing celebrity women or just any woman that they deem sufficiently sassy and glamorous. Men, when they're not attractive and mostly naked, are considered to be sub-standard and second class.

It's another way that self-hate manifests among gay men. They hate themselves for being gay but they also hate themselves for being male. I DO understand why this is the case, but it is what it is.

I shouldn't need to say that, of course, this doesn't apply to all gay men... There are those like me who are seriously put off of the whole thing and "go our own way" so to speak, but that's the culture.

[–]blueoak9 4 points5 points6 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link