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How come divorce is so expensive?

3dPrintedEmotions

July 4, 2015
26 upvotes
/r/MensRights
https://np.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/3c3mna/serious_redditors_who_are_actively_cheating_on/css6ps0?context=3
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Post Information
Title How come divorce is so expensive?
Author

3dPrintedEmotions

Upvotes 26
Comments 22
Date July 4, 2015 8:15 PM UTC
(11 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/3c4uce/how_come_divorce_is_so_expensive/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/how-come-divorce-is-so-expensive.976202
https://theredarchive.com/post/976202
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Certainly a repost but good to reread often. Also this is a good resource for when people ask for had numbers.

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Comments

[–]spriggig 4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Lawyers.

You think you might do it yourself and fill out one of those online forms. The problem is you get through it and realize you don't know shit about the law and for all you know you are completely exposed by that ignorance. Even if it seems like the divorce will be amicable, you can't tell the future and you don't feel confident at all in those DIY forms.

So, you pay a lawyer.

Having been married, I don't know why people do it twice. Hope springs eternal, I suppose.

[–]ThePedanticCynic 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm glad i've learned enough from the experiences of others to absolutely reject marriage as an option. I've broken up with girls because they were adamant about marriage (not specifically to me, i don't think, just in general.)

[–]brokedown 6 points7 points8 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Because it's worth it.

[–]T34_B4991n5 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

"How come this fire extinguisher costs so much in this inferno?"

[–]morganpartee 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Meh, it's about to cost me around the same it cost to get married. Why it costs almost a hundred bucks to file paperwork, I'll never understand.

[–]Diesel-66 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Only really becomes expensive if you married someone who refused to work. Then the 50/50 becomes you giving away will your money

[–]reg8392748 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Divorce doesn't have to be expensive. If you and her agree on everything you can have a paralegal file the papers. If it is done right you don't even have to go to court.

[–]This_Turns_Me_On 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

When my cousin and his wife divorced they both had to pay close to $300 and neither of them had anything the other wanted.

marriage was $30 and two years later the divorce of $600

[–]NewLifex 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

I'll never get married. I won't say anything to my future GF and I'll just nod my head. By as time goes on and it becomes obvious I won't ask , then it's pretty much up to her. Stay with me and no marriage? Or do you not love me enough to not bind me to a legal document that could basically end me? She walks away

[–]T34_B4991n5 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago* (13 children) | Copy Link

The way I see it, if a woman threatens to leave you because you don't want to be married, it's a pretty huge ironic red flag. If she wants to be with you, she can be with you, but that's obviously not what she wants.

It's a funky catch-22. The only way I will know if a woman is worth marrying is if she agrees to not get married and would be happy to grow old with me regardless. Then I might consider it after lots and lots of years of being together.

This ultimatum bullshit however is unacceptable.

[–]NewLifex 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

Exactly. It just screams entitlement. There are certain advantages to getting married such as being able to make life-death medical decisions but that is still a very moot point. If you have been together for 10-15 years without marriage , chances are you've talked to the family and you would be able to talk it out if anything happened during a real life and death crisis. So even that's a moot point to me.

[+]AndaliteBandit 11 years ago* [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

There are certain advantages to getting married such as being able to make life-death medical decisions but that is still a very moot point. If you have been together for 10-15 years without marriage , chances are you've talked to the family and you would be able to talk it out if anything happened during a real life and death crisis.

Odds are, the two of you are going to outlive your parents. That means there might not be any other immediate family members to make those decisions in your place. Even if they are alive, how nearby do they live? Emergency medical decisions, which sometimes need to be decided now, go to those with next-of-kin status, which you won't have. If you're not family, you could even be denied visitation in the first place. Even if it's to say a last goodbye. You can legally be denied funeral and bereavement leave. You will not be able to make the funeral arrangements, including burial or cremation. And in many graveyards, you won't have the right to be buried next to one another, and not being the spouse, you won't get to choose which graveyard in the first place. These are the rather huge legal rights same-sex couples were denied in being denied the right to marry.

[–]NewLifex 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Great reply. Very informative. Unfortunately , I will probably find myself in this position because my personal beliefs won't be comprised for something like this. Not trying to be a jerk or argumentative , I found your post very informative , but I won't get married just because of something like this. I hope I will never have to be in this position , but life must go on and it probably will happen to me. Knowing my luck LOL.

[–]T34_B4991n5 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

The other benefit is for tax reasons, but it also seems fishy and ironic that in order to get the state to steal from you slightly less, you have to get a contract with the state that allows them to steal from you even more upon dissolution of the contract.

[–]NewLifex 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Wow , I've honestly never thought about it that way before! Just another notch in my belt on reasons why not to get married. I have no issues being with a women , I don't intend to die alone , but I don't need someone else to recognize the fact that I love X woman. I know I'm preaching to the quire lol. I really liked that post though.

[–]niczar 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

Beware. A friend of mine married his girlfriend after 5 years together. She started cheating a year later and they divorced within 2.

[–]NewLifex 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

Dam that is rough... A few years ago I had a 7 year rule , no kids , no marriage , no moving into together for 7 years. After that point , we could get married - maybe.

But now a few years later that's completely off. Marriage and kids in general are a NO. And you better bet I will watch her take the pill every day. None of this "I didn't know how it happened".

It's kind of sad when you have to treat a significant other like that... I hate to be the stereotypical misogynist but you can't really trust them to take the pill... Just like you don't trust mental patients to take their own meds... Yeah they get away with it sometimes but at least you are actively doing something to prevent your own demise.

[–]niczar 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Just pay for her to get an IUD. Safer, less hassle.

[–]NewLifex 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Very good point!

Here's a little info - because I didn't know it existed and I'm sure other's aren't either.

Relatively few are using what is now considered the gold standard of birth control: long-acting reversible contraception (LARC) methods like intrauterine devices (IUDs) and implants. According to new CDC data, in 2013, 7.1 percent of 15-to-19-year-olds seeking contraception at Title X family-planning clinics chose LARC methods, with more of them going for implants than IUDs. This is up from 0.4 percent in 2005—a 15-fold increase—but still pretty low, considering IUDs and implants are widely considered to be the best birth control available.

http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/04/less-than-10-percent-of-teens-are-using-the-most-effective-form-of-birth-control/390072/

[–]niczar 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Implants have their problems, the hormonal disruption can be horrible for some women.

[–]NewLifex 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

So it's back to condoms and the Pill? Lol.

[–]niczar 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

IUDs.

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