A few notes, I am 17 (male) and the girl I hooked up with is 17 and the situation I am about to explain is weird and complicated.
We both got drunk at a party and at around 2 am we go down to an empty room to sleep. She ends up hopping on me and we start hooking up, I'm piss drunk and am in a state where things are blacking out and super unclear. We both perform oral on each other at some point and fall asleep. In the middle of the night I wake up and she's giving me a handjob but I'm still in blackout drunk phase, so I don't really remember when I woke up in this situation. But I do remember that she was performing manual sex on me and then I proceeded to on her as well.
I wake up in the morning and we don't speak of the event because it was something that was not really supposed to happen. I realize I regret hooking up with her, and I felt pretty uncomfortable about waking up and being given hand job, but I let it pass since I consented and so did she the night before.
A week goes by and she texts me saying that she needs to talk to me. We sit down and start talking and she says that I sexually assaulted her. I ask how, and she says that she remembers being woken up by me fingering her. I remember it as the opposite, but I was very drunk so I couldn't just tell her I knew for a fact that didn't happen. She's a very intense feminist, so she assertively told me that what I did was sexual assault and that it made her feel incredibly uncomfortable and made me feel pretty awful about myself. I apologized many times, but I knew that if I told her that I thought it went down differently she would make the situation worse by definitely telling other people. She promised not to involve our school or tell anyone, but she is a liar and not a very good person. I believe she is saying this because she knows how messy the situation is. At this point, I know already that she told one person, but he is my friend and he believes me (she doesn't have many real friends since everyone thinks she spreads rumors and is a bad person). I am incredibly afraid that she will tell more people and eventually it will get to the administration and I will be accused of a crime I am almost certain I didn't commit. I am too afraid to go tell her what I think happened because I believe she'll just get very defensive and go run to the administration. Does anyone have any idea what I can or should do?
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