9 months later

Numerous_Study_1846 · 2025-08-01T04:36:00+00:00

Get in shape and find a better younger version.

Dont make the same miatakes with the new one.

No-Tomorrow8150 · 2025-07-31T22:01:24+00:00

It gets better. Some people take longer to realize and accept what happened. Like someone else stated, you are lucky not to have kids to complicate things. There are lots of fish in the sea. But you can’t see them but they are still there. I think most men coming out of married life are on an island. I think being around people helps and don’t isolate. Even going to a gym to hang around other people can help. You will have ups and downs but eventually more ups. BUT you cannot “pine” for someone that rejects you. Stop trying to think of what was or could have been. That ship has sailed. Don’t give that relationship so much power over you. Gotta live your life. Time flies.

Xan-Diesel · 2025-07-31T17:24:54+00:00

It won't make you feel much better but I'm happy that you *didn't* have children together. The process is so difficult already - adding children makes it much worse. You're doing the best you can - what else can you expect of yourself? It took everything I had during those first few months to continue waking up, going to work, working out and being present for my sons (on the weeks I had them). I stopped trying to prevent myself from crying and just cried - wherever I was. I sought out a counselor (after feeling bad for leaning so hard on my friends and family who sympathized but didn't know what else to do or say) and that was helpful.

Consider that many, many men punch their own tickets and so far, you haven't.

daysoftheparakeet · 2025-07-31T16:55:29+00:00

Sorry to hear the pain. You described it pretty accurately. Though I did not initiate my divorce, this is what I’m going through as well. I never knew how hard it would be until I got here. I think many people can relate to that. The emotional draining also comes from the lack of being “chosen”.

Figure out how that may have contributed to your pain. As a child, as you are now. There’s a deep grief that is begging to be seen.

May sure you are doing things that are relaxing as well. Make sure you are doing things that don’t feel like a punishment for a marriage that did not work out.

No matter how it all went down, give yourself grace.

Title	9 months later
Author	tribal-chief556
Upvotes	11
Comments	4
Date	July 31, 2025 4:38 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1me6hkf/9_months_later/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/9-months-later.1558598 https://theredarchive.com/post/1558598

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