I had a situation a decade ago where my wife was most likely badmouthing me to her parents. Her family of origin have had a challenge with addiction. This is relevant to the dynamics of how this situation played out.

I wasn’t doing anything wrong at the time, just usual day to day differences of opinion. I have been a good husband and don’t play away or drink. I also keep down good jobs, I pay for everything and am a good father.

Anyway, out of the blue her father decided to publicly insult me (called me a name) at a family event saying all his other sons in laws were great guys.

I asked him for an apology and he said no. I let rip giving him a piece of my mind over 10 seconds or so. He wasn’t exactly a model husband himself back in the day and caused his family a lot of pain. I hit him with some home truths which I regretted afterwards.

I later apologised in writing which he refused to accept. I have been excommunicated from her family for well over a decade.

This caused major rift with my wife who supported her father. We just muddled on not resolving anything raising our four kids who are now in their late teens.

Despite our ups and downs I love my wife. I’d say she has loved me but when we argue this incident is brought up time and time again.

She now says this issue is at the root of her dislike for me and she now wants a divorce.

While I am sorry for what happened with her father I was provoked.

This situation hasn’t gone away and her father’s actions in refusing to get over this episode and accept my apology are now causing the break up of my family.

My children have also been deprived of my presence at important family gatherings.

He’s obviously still fuelling the fire as my wife tells me her father recently told her he feels sorry for her that she’s married to me.

It’s all very bizarre. I’m struggling with the whole thing,

I’m a reasonable person and am trying to work this out with the goal of finally resolving this issue and getting my wife on side marriage back on track. For the sake of us and our children.

Right now I’m being sent down the river by her family. I highly doubt anyone has a good word to say about me.

Anyone any insight as to how to rectify this, or has had a similar situation. I’m thinking of family therapy and trying to get him along.