My ex and I have been separated for almost a year. We don’t have a court order yet, but we’ve been following an informal 3-3-1 schedule: I have the kids Monday through Wednesday, my ex has Thursday through Saturday, and we rotate Sundays. Drop-offs are currently at 8:00 PM. I’m starting a year-long school program this May, and my schedule is about to change. I’ll have classes on Tuesdays from 4:00 PM to 9:00 PM (getting home around 10:00 PM), plus one other evening per week from 6:00 PM to 10:00 PM.

Here are my dilemmas:

The Drop-off Logistics: Since our swap time is 8:00 PM, I won’t be able to handle the Tuesday exchange myself. I have family who can help, but I’m hesitant to share the reason with my ex. The "Right of First Refusal" Worry: My biggest concern is that if I disclose I'm in school, my ex might try to take my custody time while I'm in class, while still keeping their own full schedule.

Quality Time: I’d eventually like to move toward a schedule with alternating full weekends (Saturday/Sunday) so I can have more uninterrupted time with my oldest child.

I won’t have my confirmed schedule for the next term until April, so I’m trying to plan ahead.

Has anyone dealt with a similar situation?

How did you handle schedule changes before a formal court order was in place?

Did you disclose your school schedule, or just say your "work/availability" had changed?

What schedule worked best for you as a student parent?

I’d appreciate any insight or personal experiences!