Would this be a boundary issue?

MountainLopsided6436 · 2026-01-12T22:00:16+00:00

I like to propose a plan or start the negotiation. Leaving it open, asking what are they going to do never solves the problem. "If you let me have the kids on these days then I'll get them to school". My ex usually responds with "ok" because she doesn't have the bandwidth to solve a problem or come up with a solution.

According-Designer15 · 2026-01-12T02:25:24+00:00

You're asking if it's okay to text about school logistics and after-school activities bleeding into your time that's not a boundary issue, that's basic co-parenting communication, and if you don't have a legal agreement in place then everything runs on good faith until it doesn't. Text her once, keep it simple and factual: "How are kids getting to school this week given (recent events]?" and "After-school activities have been shifting into my parenting time the last few months, need to figure out a consistent plan that works for both schedules." If she doesn't answer within 24 hours, follow up once with "Need confirmation on this by [date] so I can plan accordingly," and if she still ghosts, document it and handle logistics yourself (get kids to school, adjust activities as needed) while keeping a paper trail of her non-responsiveness. The fact that she's had an emotional month doesn't exempt her from basic co-parenting communication, you can be empathetic without letting your time and responsibilities get absorbed because she's overwhelmed. If this keeps happening (activities shifting to your time, no communication, no agreement being followed), that's when you lawyer up and formalize everything in writing so "smooth between us" doesn't just mean you're accommodating her chaos.

Final_Minimum1443 · 2026-01-11T19:56:42+00:00

This is the text sending to my ex to start conversation.

"Hi, reaching out. Would you like me to take X to school this week?"

curtdogg47 · 2026-01-11T17:07:00+00:00

If you are on speaking terms, I recommend a phone call. As texts leave the problem of tone and meaning being taken the wrong way. Something simple can blow up via text.

Title	Would this be a boundary issue?
Author	Final_Minimum1443
Upvotes	9
Comments	8
Date	January 11, 2026 4:33 PM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1qa3sqh/would_this_be_a_boundary_issue/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/would-this-be-a-boundary-issue.1570919 https://theredarchive.com/post/1570919

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