~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| – | Potential Implications of Taking a Vacation Without Ex’s Consent (No Active Order)My ex won't respond to messages since retaining an attorney. To cover myself was going to send it to their attorney. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/07/26 01:35 AM |
| – | Potential Implications of Taking a Vacation Without Ex’s Consent (No Active Order)Pro Se. We went 14 months without an attorney. My ex retained one 6 weeks ago. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/07/26 01:34 AM |
| – | What are my next steps?Section 1: Equal Authority and the Implied Consent Rule: All major non-emergency educational, medical, psychological, and legal decisions are strictly joint, requiring true 50/50 mutual agreement. To prevent administrative delays and ensure the children’s needs are met promptly, the parents agree to the following mandatory notice framework: Written Notice: The proposing parent shall submit any proposed major decision in writing via the designated co-parenting application (e.g., OurFamilyWizard o… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/07/26 12:58 AM |
| 1 | Reclaiming Control: Boundary Crossing and BudgetingMandatory Account Separation: “The Father shall have sole, exclusive ownership and administrative control over the primary dance studio online portal and billing account. The Mother’s access shall be strictly limited to a 'secondary/communication-only' profile or separate sub-account.” Explicit Credit Protection: “Any financial credits, refunds, or rollover funds resulting from payments made solely by the Father are the exclusive property of the Father. Under no circumstances may the Mother appl… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/06/26 12:39 AM |
| 2 | Reclaiming Control: Boundary Crossing and BudgetingShould also mention my ex, after I paid for extracurricular activities, wanted to pay for my child. Then stopped tried to work with my ex on splitting the bill they agreed. Paid my half they never did. My child almost was removed from the activity, per my child reason couldn't go one day. I took over paying the back payments and future payments. Plan in mediation that my ex pays for one week of camp. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/06/26 10:41 PM |
| 4 | Told my boss about domestic abuse from spouseI never pressed charges against my ex because I was worried it would affect their professional license. Then, I worried my ex would turn around and use it against me to affect mine. I had also heard a horror story about a family whose children were temporarily taken away due to allegations—whether true or false—and I lived in constant fear of that. Throughout it all, I made less money but worked more overtime. I paid the majority of the bills, covered health insurance and extracurriculars, did t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/26 10:30 PM |
| 1 | Focus and Foundations: Preparing for Custody MediationThis is the higher education part Article II: Higher Education & College Planning 1. The Planning Process (College Tours) Logistical Lead: Father shall have primary responsibility for coordinating the logistical labor of the college selection process. This specifically includes: Researching potential institutions. Scheduling and attending college tours and visits with the children. Tracking and managing application deadlines. Final Selection: While Father leads the logistics, the final decision … | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/26 03:59 PM |
| 2 | Focus and Foundations: Preparing for Custody MediationI plan to never date and planning to buy a cave by the ocean once the kids graduate college. Do believe in the agreement there is a clause about new partners. Thanks! | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/26 03:56 PM |
| 1 | Mediation question with the Court System...In a rock and a hard place. Filed. Then given three dates. My second choice was the one they chose. I can't miss any classes with school. So I am hoping my instructors can come through. I did mention violence in the relationship. It's hard for my ex and I to be in the same room discussing sensitive or high conflict issues. That's why I want a separate zoom session for each of us. As you said children are first. May have to void the contract at work. Look for new job. Take a longer cut in pay for… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/05/26 01:42 AM |
| 1 | Navigating the Notification: Informing Your Ex of a Divorce FilingI think I am just nervous. I don't want our exchanges to be awkward, and I keep wondering if things will be awkward regardless of whether I send a reminder or not. I feel like I'm overthinking and worrying about how my ex will respond. I also feel guilty, but my family says I had to involve the Sheriff because when we initially divorced, she never responded to the certified letter I sent to her residence. Plus, we haven't really talked about the divorce since July or August of last year. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/05/26 12:25 AM |
| 1 | I filed for divorce!Gotcha. So can't do that on my own ha. I mean we rarely talk or have spoken to each other this past year. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/05/26 01:26 PM |
| 1 | I filed for divorce!I am trying to research if some lawyer in the area willing to just file not be attached to the paperwork. Most want to know if contested or not. I can't predict the future. I am not sure what my ex plans are with the divorce and custody. The paperwork is very confusing. Fingers crossed can file it today or tomorrow resolve it by this weekend. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/05/26 12:50 PM |
| 2 | I filed for divorce!My mom said the same thing to me. Last time went to the Courthouse felt completely different then the years prior for jury duty. You had to have everything signed and ready. No phones and no pens if I recall on my last trip to the Courthouse. Nothing metal. You had to have everything prepped and ready to go or have to come back. I was using the online e-file system to avoid this. I was assuming if I file online all the documents would of been uploaded. Outside of the affidavit which had to be no… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/05/26 11:42 AM |
| 1 | The Invisible FoundationFor me. I don't mind if my ex is the one to be seen. As long I work hard keep being the rock for my children that's all that matters. Feel more than gold or any priceless metal having that one extra night a week would be all the validation I need as it would just be amazing. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/05/26 01:15 AM |
| 2 | Strategic Custody & Financial Settlement ProposalSuggestion on custody: set it up to avoid weekend swaps. YOu want to swap via school (so you dont have to see your ex during the school year. Unfortunately that is a bit impossible at the moment due to our work schedules. Also, when it comes to swaps the person whose time is start is PICKING UP.... never dropping off. Why? Because if you got an older kid who you physically cannot get into a car you dont want your ex saying you refused to bring them. 8P to 9P. Tax Credits: I will claim both child… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/04/26 08:21 PM |
| 1 | Strategic Custody & Financial Settlement ProposalSo far we have been each buying our own clothes and supplies for the children. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/04/26 07:41 PM |
| 1 | Strategic Custody & Financial Settlement ProposalAdd in a plan for Mother's Day, Father's Day, your birthday and her birthday, and all the kids' birthdays. Address how this is handled if the Mother's Day falls during your time in a specific year. I mean if she wants the children on Mother's Day she can have them. To me not a big deal with Father's Day I can celebrate during the week. Who will take the kids on college tours, if that's something your family anticipates doing? Who will be the parent to drop them off at college the first time? We … | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/04/26 07:39 PM |
| 1 | Strategic Custody & Financial Settlement ProposalPlan to start a 529 again in a year or two. I hope college will be free by then. Figure college issues can address later on down the road. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/04/26 07:36 PM |
| 1 | Strategic Custody & Financial Settlement ProposalThink put second Sunday of January have to let the other parent know. We basically work 12 hour shifts each at the moment. For the most part we are off of work when we have the children. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/04/26 07:35 PM |
| 1 | Strategic Custody & Financial Settlement ProposalThat's fine. What we have been doing prior to the seperation and during the seperation. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/04/26 07:21 PM |
| 1 | Strategic Boundary Setting: Managing Financial Liability and Child-Centric Custody TransitionsI’m weighing a few options: I could text her while she has the kids before pickup to ask about the car loan, or wait until next week to tell her I’ve set up a payment plan with the lender. Alternatively, I could just wait and see what happens. I might reach out to the lender to see if I can defer payments for 60 days while we wait for the divorce decree. Since they already have my ex’s bank information, I’m not sure if I can authorize a withdrawal from that account in 60 days or if they can con… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/04/26 01:33 AM |
| 2 | Negotiating Extracurricular Activity Limits and Registration Priority in Divorce Agreements ExtracurricularsI have covered these costs both during and after our marriage. I am willing to continue paying moving forward, on the condition that I am able to register the children for their chosen activities on the opening day. Except for summer camp, most activities occur during our respective parenting time. Last year, my ex was consistent in taking our oldest to camp, missing only one or two days. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/04/26 05:24 PM |
| 1 | Navigating Future Custody Schedule:About a year ago—perhaps less—I shared a proposal for a 2-2-5-5 custody schedule, though I didn't receive a formal response at the time. I am currently re-evaluating which arrangement will work best to present in mediation. While our current routine has served the children well and aligns with my school schedule from June of this year through May of next year, it isn’t sustainable long-term. Missing every Saturday night deprives me of significant quality time, and I would like to transition to a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/04/26 11:54 PM |
| 1 | Navigating Future Custody Schedule:My schedule with the children follows a two-week rotation. During the first week, I have the children Monday through Wednesday. During the second week, I have them Sunday through Wednesday. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/04/26 11:47 PM |
| 1 | For those who filed on their own, what was your process?Tried to file online for divorce. Very confusing says you can and file a fee. Also, says has to be notarized and viewed by a notary. I can't file until a year and a day. Not taking the chance and finding out misled information by a few weeks, not sure it would really matter. I will knock out everything all at once first week of May. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/04/26 07:44 PM |
| 1 | For those who filed on their own, what was your process?I feel may be able to do the $500 fee. Wondering with my ex car loan situation should I file for divorce or will I still be responsible for that. What if I file for absolute divorce now and file for custody three weeks from now. Should I file all at once on the same day. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/04/26 01:00 PM |
| 1 | For those who filed on their own, what was your process?I'm nervous because I should find out today when my second class day will be. It's the longer of the two since it’s a clinical day. I knew I'd have class during my parenting time and could work when I don't have the children, but that second day might be a Wednesday or Thursday. If it’s a Thursday, I’ll have to work every Sunday, meaning I’d only get two half-days with my oldest instead of one full day and two half-days. I’d like to change the current custody schedule eventually, but I feel like… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/04/26 11:04 AM |
| 1 | Should I update my STBX?So don't need to update that I canceled it. Not rescheduling as I don't feel my child needs the sessions waiting till the appointment in late Spring at the Doctors office. Figure my ex will ask me about it later this week plan to just explain I don't feel the extra appointment is necessary leave it at that. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/26 01:14 PM |
| 1 | Question about mediation?I completely agree. I don’t want to sound like I’m looking for sympathy; I'm simply being realistic about the impact my marriage had on my finances. While some of the debt was a result of my own choices, a significant portion went toward keeping the family afloat—paying for rent, groceries, and handling the costs of moves and income changes. My credit was damaged. I have very little financial backup. I’ve accepted this situation, though I recognize it limits my options and is the reason why I ha… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/03/26 03:54 PM |
| 1 | Question about mediation?As for handling the divorce ourselves, we simply don't have the financial means for both of us to afford attorneys. Since we have little to no assets, custody is the only major issue we have left to settle. I attempted to negotiate a while back, but we haven't discussed custody for almost eight months. It would be ideal to handle these matters outside of court. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/03/26 02:47 PM |
| 1 | Question about mediation?I am unsure if private mediation will work. We haven't discussed custody issues in about eight months. While a private mediator would be ideal—as it would allow us to share the divorce costs—I feel like I am currently bearing most of the financial burden between previous attorney fees and upcoming court costs. I am simply not sure my ex will agree to participate. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/03/26 01:28 PM |
| 1 | Question about mediation?My soon-to-be-ex and I are both going pro se. At this point, I assume my ex will be handling the case without an attorney. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/03/26 12:53 PM |
| 1 | I have mixed emotions and I'm feeling pretty frustrated with my ex right now.I am trying not to be bothered by it, but my ex started talking to me out of the blue today about things she’s doing for the children. I have tried to engage with her in the past, but she either ignores the topic or agrees and then does the complete opposite. This is especially true regarding talks about custody or setting up a legal agreement. As a result, I rarely talk to her anymore. I am known for being a detailed person who prefers communicating via text. At the moment, it is too difficul… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/03/26 10:04 PM |
| 1 | I have mixed emotions and I'm feeling pretty frustrated with my ex right now.The only issue—and the real reason I wanted to vent—is that I thought I had clearly explained this to my ex at the end of last year. We were in complete agreement, and I responded to an email to the therapy center about putting services on hold earlier this year. The provider mentioned that if therapy were needed again, or if an issue arose, we could continue with the same health organization our youngest child is already seeing Provider for their ongoing health concerns. Then, my ex did the co… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/03/26 05:52 PM |
| 1 | Is this holiday and birthday rotation proposal fair and reasonable?Regarding birthdays will keep the arrangement simple. My work unit uses "Block Holiday" systems (Blocks A and B), our holiday schedules are often known years in advance. Depending on the specific unit, these holidays may also be assigned based on seniority or on a first-come, first-served basis may not be able to known that far ahead. To ensure fairness, we would rotate the seven (maybe take out Halloween to split it evenly) major holidays annually. In any given year, one parent will be assigned… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/03/26 06:08 PM |
| 1 | Is this holiday and birthday rotation proposal fair and reasonable?To ensure a balanced schedule, we would alternate the primary summer holidays, with one parent taking Memorial Day and the other taking Independence Day. Halloween remains a significant event; however, since most festivities occur on the weekends prior to Halloween. Once the oldest child ages out of trick-or-treating, Halloween could be removed from the formal holiday rotation. Regarding birthdays, it is not a priority to have the children on the exact calendar date. Instead, the parent who does… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/03/26 05:37 PM |
| 1 | Is this holiday and birthday rotation proposal fair and reasonable?Regarding children's birthdays: If a birthday falls on a day when the other parent has custody, that parent will also have the children for the weekends immediately before and after the birthday. The only exception is if the birthday itself falls on a Saturday or Sunday. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/03/26 04:03 PM |
| 1 | What happens with child custody complaint?Understandable. Hiring an attorney isn't an option at the moment due to affordability. Should I try one more time to settle this before mediation and filing divorce paperwork? | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/03/26 12:05 AM |
| 1 | Seeking Advice: Best way to ask for an extra night with the kids?I would like 60/40. Accepting of 50/50. My soon-to-be-ex is a stickler of time with the children. It's a challenge I feel at times. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/03/26 06:01 PM |
| 1 | Seeking Advice: Best way to ask for an extra night with the kids?There is no decree yet, and I am currently trying to decide on the next steps. My soon-to-be-ex never signed the parenting agreement sent last year. In May, we will have been separated for a year, which means I can officially file for divorce. I am trying to figure out my plan. I’m working as much overtime as possible when I don’t have the children, especially since I start school in May. I was thinking of taking a day off in June to spend at the courthouse filing paperwork, but I’m debating wh… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/03/26 01:58 PM |
| 1 | Seeking Advice: Best way to ask for an extra night with the kids?"Hi! Since there's no school tomorrow, would it be okay if the kids stayed over tonight? You can pick them up anytime tomorrow morning that works for you.' How does this sound? | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/03/26 01:16 PM |
| 1 | Soon-to-be-ex car repossessed:Refined Draft Regarding our debts: My spouse has consistently paid her car loan, and I have paid mine both during the marriage and throughout our separation. The only significant change is that my soon-to-be-ex (STBX) may have been responsible for the full rent, though I am uncertain if the family members residing with her contributed to that expense. Income and Expenses: My ex earns a higher hourly wage than I do and has regular access to overtime. By utilizing those hours, she could have ear… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/03/26 12:51 PM |
| 1 | Soon-to-be-ex car repossessed:I don't know if she would do it or not. Really wouldn't be fair for me to pay the other half of the bill. I know legally a possibility. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/03/26 03:06 AM |
| 1 | Soon-to-be-ex car repossessed:I was thinking of calling the lender to negotiate a lower deal and payment plan. Then explain to my ex the plan. Hope she agrees to the plan. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/03/26 02:31 AM |
| 1 | Soon-to-be-ex car repossessed:If I negotiate a lower payment and my STBX agrees to pay. Then get that in writing. Then she takes on the responsibility of the debt? | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/03/26 11:06 PM |
| 2 | Soon-to-be-ex car repossessed:Yes. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/03/26 07:51 PM |
| 1 | Soon-to-be-ex car repossessed:If I reach out to the lender what do I say? I figure I could try to reach an agreement to lower the deficiency balance by 50% to 60%. Pay over the course of 12 months. I would like that money returned back to me. I am not seeking child support with this divorce. I do want to claim the children going forward on tax returns. I be okay if my STBX gave me $150 a month in 2027 and agreed for me to claim the children going forward with taxes. Feel that is a fair arrangement if we end splitting the pay… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/03/26 06:56 PM |
| 2 | Soon-to-be-ex car repossessed:No assets outside of our two car loans. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/03/26 06:53 PM |
| 3 | Soon-to-be-ex car repossessed:Finances. Won't say reasons why. Financially when married I couldn't save. Racked myself into a lot of debt. Damaged my credit. Trying to rebuild after being seperated now. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/03/26 06:48 PM |
| 0 | Soon-to-be-ex car repossessed:Legally, I understand my responsibility. However, my ex-spouse should sign an agreement stating they are solely responsible for this debt. This agreement should stipulate that if I am required to make any payments—or if my wages are garnished—my ex-spouse must reimburse me. Failure to do so would constitute a breach of contract and a violation of the signed terms. I believe this is a fair arrangement. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/03/26 06:47 PM |
| -1 | Soon-to-be-ex car repossessed:Not sure, ha. It is her debt so she should be responsible. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/03/26 06:41 PM |
| 1 | Summer vacation how do you coordinate this with your ex?We don’t have a formal agreement in place yet. I attempted to have my ex sign a settlement three months after we separated, but she declined. At the time, things were running relatively smoothly so I didn't pursue it further. Lately, I’ve been hesitant to resend the agreement because I’m still uncertain about my ideal schedule. My upcoming school commitment from May to May complicates things. I’m realizing that having only one weekend a month, rather than every other weekend, significantly limit… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/02/26 05:35 PM |
| 2 | Summer vacation how do you coordinate this with your ex?Probably send another reminder in March. I have in text mentioning taking the children on vacation last week of July. Was the same time last year. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/02/26 05:21 PM |
| 2 | The heartache of your ex poisoning your kidsHave to ask how you doing? My ex left me after mentioning throughout the years multiple times of divorcing me no matter how many changes I made. Manipulated me into burning bridges with family and friends. I was good three months after the seperation. I always wanted 60/40. Then last two weeks, after 10 months of seperation, floods of emotions started up. Thinking of the event my ex did to me in front of the children. Then what my ex said to my oldest child heard from my child on why we divorced… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/02/26 02:10 PM |
| 2 | Filed taxes separately and claimed the kids, STBX is fumingSame situation. I probably deserved claiming both of my children. With paying majority of the bills. Made slightly more than my ex. My AGI was lower than my ex AGI, thinking it was. To avoid the headache just agreed to split who claims who for the moment till we can legally hash things out. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/02/26 01:28 AM |
| 1 | Needing to let this outI mean my ex I don't know if the discipliner she was prior to the divorce. Haven't heard much from my oldest about that. Feeds them. They have a place to live. Takes them to school. I really would like to have 60/40. My ex feel would never agree to it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/02/26 03:24 AM |
| 2 | Needing to let this outReally don't know what goes on there. I trust my children. Makes me worried. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/02/26 03:04 AM |
| 2 | The quietI won't say anything negative. My agony is the drop off. The worst part is the unknown. I feel bad for my children. It's two completely different worlds I believe. I know how my ex is. We are opposites. I feel for my children how that transition must be and I worry about their emotions/mental well-being. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/02/26 08:44 PM |
| 1 | Has anyone ever had their partner sign an agreement and continue on with their lives?For the children. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/02/26 02:30 AM |
| 1 | Has anyone ever had their partner sign an agreement and continue on with their lives?I hope so. I mean assets are just two loans. We are just secondary cosigner's on the loan. Only thing want with that is we assume responsibility for payments. If default on payments to continue to pay the deficiency balance. Only other major things are. That I have Right of First Registration for extracurricular activities. The "A" & "B" holiday schedule. The rotating first person to pick a vacation week. Rotating Fall and Spring Break based off odd and even years. I cover health insurance premi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/02/26 07:14 PM |
| 1 | Custody agreements what would be in them outside of visitation stipulations?I don't think I am trying to overthink just want to keep it status quo for the children. Was simple. I covered health insurance premiums and extracurricular fees. Only change is now I cover school fees where we use to split. Would like to have that be split again with divorce. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/02/26 05:55 PM |
| 1 | Custody agreements what would be in them outside of visitation stipulations?Appreciate the insight. My thought process is with the extracurricular activities are due to some recent events with regard to my ex. I am use to covering extracurricular cost prior to the seperation. As far as taxes because paying for health insurance would help me recover from that expense. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/02/26 09:19 PM |
| 1 | Custody agreements what would be in them outside of visitation stipulations?I like to have the first choice with signing my children up for an extracurricular activity they express interest in. Not sure if that's asking too much or stepping over lines requesting that in the parenting agreement. As far as cost I don't mind us paying separately for our own cost for extracurricular activities. I prefer covering the health insurance premiums for the children but in doing so be able to claim the children on taxes. Also, that we split healthcare cost, after adjusted by insura… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/02/26 08:53 AM |
| 1 | Is it realistic to do it without a laywer?I have zero savings. Unless my ex has hidden funds elsewhere assume in the same boat. I did lawyer up in the beginning but cost $4,000 to just draw up a seperation agreement and for it to be rejected by my ex. At the moment no lawyer and in limbo stage, guess would call it. We have no assets together. Only thing we have to hammer out is custody. Hopefully can do this without attorneys involved. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/02/26 09:30 PM |
| 1 | Extracurricular Part 5/6 Saga and housing concerns...Going for 60/40. I would like to be on control of my child's education and extracurricular activities. Left that to 50/50 at the moment. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/02/26 04:48 PM |
| 1 | Extracurricular Part 5/6 Saga and housing concerns...I have no choice not having an attorney is what is I accepted that. Just have to do what I can, ha. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/02/26 04:35 PM |
| 1 | Extracurricular Part 5/6 Saga and housing concerns...I mean I think it will. No sounds illogical. We have only two loans, one now we are signed off on. No assets. I sent my ex and agreement where I cover majority of the expenses for the children and we split custody 50/50. She refused. I have a feeling going to Court. Not doing an attorney too much money. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/02/26 04:25 PM |
| 1 | Extracurricular Part 5/6 Saga and housing concerns...That's the thing. My soon to be ex was the one that signed my child up a few months ago. On their time. Then stopped making payments. Offered to help initially, but they refused any assistance. Then offered again and agreed we split the cost. I paid my half. Has yet to pay their half. I don't mind paying in full. At this point if I do pay in full and can switch to my time would prefer to do so. No Court Agreements as of yet. Still seperated not divorced. My biggest worry that I haven't done this… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/02/26 01:00 PM |
| 1 | Extracurricular Part 5/6 Saga and housing concerns...I am wondering since my ex was the one that took over the extracurricular activity last few months. Now that she stopped paying. Would I be in the wrong if I changed the date to a time I have my child for the activity if I started paying. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/26 08:13 PM |
| 2 | This is a dumb thing to be frustrated aboutI know. I have this hypothetical interaction my oldest had with their mom. Hypothetically thinking about what's playing through my child's mind. Like wanting to go out into the snow. Seeing the snow coming down. Even asking their mom and mom saying "no." | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/02/26 02:07 AM |
| 1 | Sensation your children live in two different worlds between you and other parent...I did not want to clog up the site with another post. This morning was hard. Had a nice treat of having my children an extra night. Just hard to say goodbye. I would love to have them all the time. However, that would mean daycare or babysitters just feel that be unfair to them. I would also be losing money. I am willing to give up overtime to have them four days a week consistently. Just hoping my ex will agree when I present to her the seperation agreement again. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/01/26 08:46 PM |
| 1 | Sensation your children live in two different worlds between you and other parent...Wow. That's my biggest concern. Know out of my hands. You raise a child to be "X" but you worry if factors from the other household will change them to a different person. Does it make them worse, the same, or better due to the ability to adapt to changes. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/01/26 04:54 PM |
| 1 | Sensation your children live in two different worlds between you and other parent...Think the issue that dwells in my mind is I am concern how this will affect the children over time. Married we were two different parenting styles but one household. So somehow it blended or appeared to have blended together. Now two different households two different parenting styles. Weighs heavily on my mind how mentally and physically over time this will affect my children. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/01/26 06:46 AM |
| 1 | Seperation and custody agreement questionWonder if I could give her the paperwork. Review it. If any changes and okay with the changes. Then say I'll file it. Reach out to the attorney. Have them sign the paperwork and drop it off at the attorneys. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/01/26 10:28 AM |
| 1 | Someone my ex know reached out to meReally don't know what happen. I'll have to block this person eventually. Just really weird. Started at work. They work at my work. They send me a message about treating my children as their own and that they are safe. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/01/26 04:10 AM |
| 1 | Legal Custody questionsRarely talk. Think talked in person last 10 months. Ex won't talk about custody. In price of mediation. Outside of that we are ambicale. One reason we seperated was because we can't agree on how to raise our children. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/01/26 02:01 AM |
| 5 | The more you and your spouse can talk and negotiate your own settlement, the more time and money you will save in your divorce.I really would love to avoid Mediation and Court. Both of us can't afford attorneys. Be great to just have paperwork signed. We are relatively ambicale. Ex and I rarely engage in conversation since we seperated. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/01/26 06:27 PM |
| 1 | Children and after school activityWould prefer 60% physical and 100% legal. I know probably be 50/50 with legal. Would prefer no changes keep the status quo had going on before we seperated. Covered about 75% with health insurance and extra curricular activities prior to being seperated. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/01/26 01:42 AM |
| 1 | Children and after school activityI know. On one end I don't want my child to lose out. They enjoy the activity want to do this one activity. I could see if there is room & availability on another day during the week when I have my child. I think to do that I would have to switch them from the day they already do the activity with my ex. Also, want to avoid upsetting my ex while we are going through the mediation process shortly in hopes of obtaining 60% of physical custody of my children. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/01/26 12:55 AM |
| 1 | Does this make sense in the agreement?Have it narrowed down to three custody schedules going to negotiate for. Have little time to figure out which one I prefer. Go from there. I am open to these 3: Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday schedule Or Week 1 - Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Week 2 - Monday Tuesday Wednesday Saturday Or Week 1 - Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Week 2 - Monday Tuesday Wednesday Saturday | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/01/26 05:12 PM |
| 1 | Would this be a boundary issue?They politely refused any assistance at this time. Been getting some mixed information from people then walking back on what they say to do. At the moment will see what happens this weekend and update the school next week if they miss school. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/01/26 12:36 PM |
| 1 | Would this be a boundary issue?This is the text sending to my ex to start conversation. "Hi, reaching out. Would you like me to take X to school this week?" | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/01/26 07:56 PM |
| 1 | Would this be a boundary issue?Can't give to much detail. Ex loss access to a vehicle. May have a family vehicle to help not sure. Need to confirm about school. If not be easier if I keep them the night before school drive them over the day my ex has the children. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/01/26 06:48 PM |
| 1 | Would this be a boundary issue?We talk. Just once over the phone since seperating. Talk mainly text. Rarely in person. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/01/26 05:16 PM |
| 1 | Any advice on how to approach my ex about this...Don't mind driving. We have a parenting plan been following but no plan filed with the Court. Trying to think in my mind how to go about asking my ex if needs help. I always planned the schedule based on days not having my children I have family free in case an issue like this ever did arise. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/01/26 05:47 PM |
| 2 | 2-2-5-5 vs 7-7I mean I love a 7-7 schedule. I work in healthcare we have 12 hour shifts mean have to work 6 shifts in a row (think work introduced a fatigue rule no more than 3 in a row without permission.) long story short we do a 4-3 at the moment but have young children. I contemplate some schedule changes such as doing a 4-3 schedule give up weekends or a 4-3-2-5 type schedule. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/01/26 05:28 PM |
| 1 | Any advice on how to approach my ex about this...That's the question. Trying to figure out how to engage my ex on this. We are ambicale. Also, they refuse help initially and eventually will agree to help. Kind of not sure on a cliff made of crackers that could crumble at any time. Have to be delicate. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/01/26 04:29 PM |
| 1 | Any advice on how to approach my ex about this...Well one of the kids has no one way to go to school no bus transport car only drop off. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/01/26 04:23 PM |
| 1 | Any advice on how to approach my ex about this...Ex doesn't have a car at the moment. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/01/26 04:01 PM |
| 1 | Does this make sense in the agreement?Love no Court paper or orders. I love a flexible schedule. I worry if too flexible be a lot on my oldest. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/01/26 06:17 PM |
| 1 | Does this make sense in the agreement?Have to disagree in our situation. My oldest at the moment feel helps relieve lot of anxiety having a structured schedule. Knows at this parent house till then and this parent till then. Able to count down how many days and nights have with each. Knows when they are going. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/01/26 11:03 AM |
| 2 | Does this make sense in the agreement?Our oldest likes 4 on 3 off. 5 days is too much for them. Seems the children have adjusted to our current schedule arrangements. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/01/26 11:50 PM |
| 1 | Does this make sense in the agreement?We are pretty ambicale. Just feel I like to have some legal paperwork. Current arrangements are working. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/01/26 11:49 PM |
| 1 | Does this make sense in the agreement?Not really a barrier for us. School days in bed by 8/830 some days. On exchange days latest is 10. As long as they have 8 hours of sleep and usually say after been noticing with the oldest they may go to be earlier to catch up an hour of sleep. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/01/26 08:35 PM |
| 1 | Does this make sense in the agreement?Week on week off would have some challenges with our jobs. It's a risk that we can negotiate with work to allow us to work six or seven days in a row compared to four days in a row. Goal would be days with our children not to work. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/01/26 08:13 PM |
| 2 | Does this make sense in the agreement?Was trying to go for a 54/45 custody with the every other Saturday to make it smooth. Work requires a max 3 day in a row work schedule. My current location at work do believe can be allowed to work 4 in a row. Have to figure a custody schedule out that can do four days and four nights a week. The extra Saturday was to give my STBX extra time with the children. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/01/26 05:58 PM |
| 2 | Does this make sense in the agreement?Understandable. Unfortunately week on week off won't work. We both have a schedule we can both be off from work with our children on the days we have the children. The 4-3-3-4 schedule is working for us at the moment. I haven't approached my STBX about this yet. Was going to propose in mediation a schedule as written above to have a full weekend. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/01/26 04:47 PM |
| 2 | Does this make sense in the agreement?Understandable. Oldest doesn't mind the shuffle at the moment. They prefer a maximum of 4 days with one parent. So far like three days as the minimum for days with one parent. They weren't bothered by a 2 day transition (though maybe was a day transition due to the holiday think recently.) Only issue with week on week off for my STBX and I is a 4-3-3-4 or 4-3-4-3 or 5-2-2-5 schedule one of us is, for the most part, is always home with our children. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/01/26 03:16 PM |
| 3 | Does this make sense in the agreement?Work schedules (should mention both of us.) | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/01/26 01:10 PM |
| 2 | Has anyone filed a complaint of custody before?Have to pay for trial? I have a parent agreement drawn up just have to tweek it a bit. May be thinking this is going to go a different way. I was thinking have a date for mediation at the Courthouse. Then put in separate rooms. Have three attempts to reach an agreement. Then third attempt go to trial. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/01/26 09:50 PM |
| 3 | Wife ulterior motiveI always wondered my STBX did this. After almost six months there was a turn around. Maybe just had to let the dust settle. Still on edge but for the most part we have been pretty ambicale. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/01/26 04:09 PM |
| 1 | Raising children and finance questionShould I just pay the medical fee? I don't want to be caught paying both in full. Can pay half and medical bill. Not all and medical bill. Ex makes more should mention as well then I do. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/01/26 10:28 PM |
| 1 | Raising children and finance questionIt's all knew. Like I mentioned I paid for all the activities, medical premiums, co-payments for my oldest, and split daycare/preschool 50/50 with my ex when married. It's really foreign at the moment. Would it be wrong to one if my ex doesn't pay for the program to take over paying and change the date to avoid my child have any issues? | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/01/26 07:31 PM |
| 1 | Raising children and finance questionNot sure what to do. What to put forward in mediation. I don't mind paying in full for an activity for the children on my time, health insurance for the children, medical cost when I have the children, splitting school fees, and splitting Summer camp fees. Have offered to split activity fees, but my STBX didn't want to do that. If paying in full for activity fees would it make more sense to have them on the days have the child enrolled in that activity? I don't mind paying for all the activities… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/01/26 02:53 AM |
| 1 | Custody Schedule AdviceWas contemplating in mediation asking for 60/40. Been dissuaded by people to not do that. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/12/25 08:17 PM |
| 1 | Custody Schedule AdviceThat's my concern. The current schedule fits my needs for the next year. I miss having a full weekend as it limits me from doing short weekend trips or something on a Saturday with the children. I am not sure if I would be able to have in the agreement the schedule changes in a year to avoid issues of going back to Court to modify the order. Just be a hassle I feel. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/12/25 08:50 PM |
| 1 | Custody Schedule AdviceCurrent schedule am able to work overtime. Plan to stop overtime once school starts since it'll be three days of work and two days of school. Then once I am able to advance myself at work in a year I'll make the same and slightly more than what I make now with overtime hours. Can work one overtime shift every two months to put aside. As far as hobby don't really mind not having one. When I am off I am with the children. Three is the most important. Really do want the weekend. Just feel selfish. … | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/12/25 06:09 PM |
| 2 | Dad's with children toddler and younger do you have these thoughts at times?Wave of anxiety today hard to focus. I don't know why. If I have a rocking week with the children I just feel like wanting to vomit on drop off days. Nothing wrong with my STBX. Just I feel bad because my children are going back to my STBX. I am nervous about that I don't know what goes on with my STBX not my business. It is a tale of two houses I feel. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/12/25 06:28 PM |
| 1 | Anyone ever feel like this?I definitely feel lost in who I am. I am thankful I am a person with no time so I don't have to dwell on being alone or figure out what to do for the day. It's always take care of the children, clean, work, overtime, school, and zone out before bed. I would say not sad of the changes. I am more sad because my children have to go through this. Sad and scared of the future. Motivation to work less be with my children more. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/12/25 04:05 PM |
| 1 | Question for introverted menI am an introvert that enjoys being around people haha 😂 I am not a great talker or small talk person. I love being around people. I don't like to be alone. Being an introvert and not a great talker don't have many friends as an adult. I don't have much time to hang out with folks. Usually when I don't have my children and off of work at home alone. I have my parent moved in with me to help watch my children and help with the rent till back on my feet. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/12/25 01:03 PM |
| 2 | Vacation week questionNice thanks! | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/12/25 01:30 PM |
| 2 | Dad's with children toddler and younger do you have these thoughts at times?Just had a blast this Sunday with my children. Waiting for my youngest to wake up. Oldest at school. I just feel time is too short with them. I just want more time (I know being selfish.) | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/12/25 01:17 PM |
| 3 | Dad's with children toddler and younger do you have these thoughts at times?Yes, thank you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/11/25 09:22 PM |
| 1 | Dad's with children toddler and younger do you have these thoughts at times?Fingers crossed things get better. Nothing better than the growth of bonding with our children. It is amazing. My youngest the first night over lately he has been wanting to sleep in the bed not the crib with me. Wonder what he is thinking. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/11/25 08:49 PM |
| 3 | ThanksgivingHolidays really don't phase me. It's the holiday week so we always have celebrated a day during the week when we were off during the time I was married. When younger definitely celebrated on holidays. As I became an adult some holidays missed out on prior to children. I reminisce on those days and family loss lately. Especially since during my marriage I burned a lot of bridges with my family so holiday get togethers have shrunk in size. Think I feel horrible because I had this childhood of fami… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/11/25 06:44 PM |
| 1 | Holidays and scheduleStroking out hits the nail on the head. I wasn't worried until had family mention I should feel guilty having the children both Christmas Eve and Christmas. Didn't even connect and then looked at text realized my STBX never told me if working on Christmas or not. That's burning my gears inside at the moment. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/11/25 05:01 PM |
| 2 | How can anyone celebrate only seeing or raising their kids 50% of the time?Village is so important. Was reflecting back when my mom and dad divorced when I was younger. My mom worked extra to send me to Parochial School at the time. Even some issues there had support there. Had support from two Aunts, two Uncles, Grandparents, Great-Grandparents, babysitters, Scouts, and the neighborhood. Other various people my mom connected to with work and so forth. My mom struggled financially had to write bad checks at times. My dad wasn't in my life. At times I was very independe… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/11/25 04:49 PM |
| 12 | Had trial yesterday. Lost the kids. How to cope with this? Please share your tips.How could a Court do that unless some damaging evidence. That's awful if no evidence and the Court did this to you. I am so sorry my man. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/11/25 12:19 PM |
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