Does this make sense in the agreement?

Final_Minimum1443 · 2026-01-12T17:12:36+00:00

Have it narrowed down to three custody schedules going to negotiate for. Have little time to figure out which one I prefer. Go from there.

I am open to these 3:

Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday schedule

Or

Week 1 -

Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday

Week 2 -

Monday Tuesday Wednesday Saturday

Or

Week 1 -

Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday

Week 2 -

Monday Tuesday Wednesday Saturday

AirSailer · 2026-01-11T04:41:23+00:00

If I'm reading this correctly you will never get you kid on Friday nights or Saturdays during the day? With an 8PM swap the kid will be going to bed very soon after the swap when you get them Saturday night. Meanwhile she gets them every other full Friday and Saturday and Sunday, then during odd months SHE gets an extra Saturday??? You'll never be able to take your kid somewhere for the weekend, while she can twice a month. This is a terrible schedule for you, it's fantastic for her. I'm guessing she or her lawyer came up with this... If your lawyer agrees to this you need to fire them.

divorcery · 2026-01-10T04:10:25+00:00

This schedule is close to, but not quite, a 5-2 schedule. The reason for the complexity is unclear....maybe the intent is to give just a bit more parenting time to Father, so the division isn't 50-50?

I would be concerned about the 8 pm transition times, especially if the kids are younger. I think it's a lot easier for the kids if they transition at school drop-off and pick-up.

You might consider adopting a standard 5-2 schedule, which would solve the issues above, and then reserve some annual bloc of days exclusively to the Father -- say, a specific week in summer.

EitherBedroom2341 · 2026-01-09T15:01:55+00:00

This is exactly what I have.. me 2-5, her 2-5, I have him every WT, and we alternate weekends.. with 6pm exchange. I wish I coukd have him 💯. It provides more structure.

Plastic_Efficiency35 · 2026-01-09T03:03:42+00:00

Honestly, reading this really upsets me. Children are not rag dolls to be tossed around household to household. There are no sense of belonging/ STABILITY.

In the beginning,my ex and I had very similar arrangements. We went to a few counseling sessions and were advised- whatever we do, do it for the kid(s). Papers/ assignments are just “notes”- yes ,by law,legal language - but if both parents can agree and be amicable- together-ness raising the children. Do it / sacrifice for their well-being.
Fast forward- we don’t have a set time or schedules right now. Children did not choose the divorce,and should not have to suffer because of it

curtdogg47 · 2026-01-08T21:38:28+00:00

I do something similar. The mom has the kids on Monday and Tuesday. I have them Wednesday and Thursdays. Then we rotate weekends.

We live close to each other so it’s a fairly easy swap and transition.

Reading your post made realize how glad I am we were able to do this without the courts involved. We had a parenting plan similar to what we do, in our paper work. Honestly it’s really up to the kids where they want to be and we both agreed to make that work. Because sometimes they want extra time with me or with their mom and we always accommodate that.

Adorable_FecalSpray · 2026-01-08T21:25:24+00:00

Switching like this is insane, no stability for the children.

My Ex tried to push 1 night on and 1 night off schedule. I asked 2 lawyers and 2 therapists and they all said it would not allow stability for the children. They wouldn’t even get settled at one place before having to move again. We settled on week on week off.

RealTrill1984 · 2026-01-08T20:04:01+00:00

I would never agree to this

UrAristotle · 2026-01-08T20:03:27+00:00

It’s an interesting agreement. I think it makes sense overall. It seems like you’ll have slightly more time with the kids and that’s being balanced out by an extra Saturday in odd-numbered months. I’m curious about the 8:00 pm exchange. My kids are typically getting ready for bed about that time.

My kids’ mom and I have a 2-2-5-5 agreement during the school year which works out to be more of a 3-2-5-4 sort thing because they’re always with me Sunday nights. We agreed to that on our own. The nice thing about that is that all of our weekday exchanges take place through school pick ups instead of having to go to hand off to each other. The only in-person exchange happens on Sunday nights.

notconvinced780 · 2026-01-08T17:46:29+00:00

I’d hate it for a number of reasons including that one party gets all the Wednesday night through Sunday weekends while the other gets none. Unless work schedules require an 8 pm swap midweek, that would blow. The odd, interrupted weekend on odd number months also sounds terrible. Stick with the 4-3-3-4 schedule.

Helpful-Paramedic463 · 2026-01-08T16:45:55+00:00

I cringe at seeing these weekends swaps.

Do two weeks on, two weeks off. Keep it simple.

PghSubie · 2026-01-08T16:03:02+00:00

No, that rotation feels awful. Those people may be little, but they're still people. They'll want at least a little stability. They have school schedules and friends. And a swap at 8:00 feels like it's way too late and too close to bed time. Just remember that they'll often come to you and then remember a half -hour later that they still have homework to do

Ok-Guidance6491 · 2026-01-08T13:52:04+00:00

we considered something similar early on. It didn't happen. Honestly the less you jostle the kids around the better they will be. Main complaint from adult kids of divorce is the constant shuffling.

guy_n_cognito_tu · 2026-01-08T13:08:37+00:00

Seems annoying. How old are these kids? Why can’t you do week on, week off?

Title	Does this make sense in the agreement?
Author	Final_Minimum1443
Upvotes	3
Comments	28
Date	January 8, 2026 12:31 PM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1q7al6b/does_this_make_sense_in_the_agreement/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/does-this-make-sense-in-the-agreement.1570723 https://theredarchive.com/post/1570723

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