It is Christmas Day as I write this. I’m in my apartment at 2:15am watching the best Christmas movie of all time (Die Hard) thinking about how I got here and the Christmas Eve evening I just had.

It has been a long and wild trip since my STBXW told me in August that she filed for divorce. I moved into an apartment and started living on my own for the first time in 25 years. I finally started taking care of my mental health. I even have lost 70 pounds and counting.

This evening my mom had me my daughter and STBXW up for Christmas Eve (I work tomorrow and won’t be able to go over then). The three of us drove there together and spent the evening just like we have for the past decades together. We then stopped at Waffle House on the way to drop me off.

When I got in I realized that I missed being the three of us. The three amigos. I know it won’t ever be the same and time will heal. I have spent many holidays by myself and for some reason this one seems to be the hardest.

We have our mediation on Wednesday so we will see how that goes.

In the spirit of John McLane “Yippee Ki-Yay Motherfucker!”

Thanks for listening.