I've been divorced for about 3 years now, and still have a contentious relationship with my ex because we have 3 kids together. They're young, between 6 and 11, and I intend to stay close to them til they're grown, 'cause I want to be actively involved in their childhoods, and I want them to know that I will always be there for them.

However, I live thousands of miles away from my own home, in Pennsylvania. I grew up in western Washington, and I've always felt a bit out of place here. My family and friends are all still on the west coast, and I've only been making slow progress at finding/building community out here.

I work remote, and could conceivably live anywhere in the country, and with my most recent bout of homesickness, I started to wonder what it would look like if I did decide to move back at some point. On the one hand, I wouldn't be able to be an active part of the kids' daily lives, but I only have them on the weekends, and I already feel like I'm missing out on so much. My ex's boyfriend apparently taught my son to use a drill last week. That should have been me. But he has 2 acres of land with a house and a garden while I'm still recovering from the divorce in a two bedroom apartment. There are fewer opportunities to teach anyone that sort of thing.

Anyway, I was wondering if anyone has experience with a long-distance co-parenting arrangement, and how that affected your relationships with your kids. 'Cause that's the most important part of this equation, but I already spent a decade here, stuck in an unhappy (at best) marriage. If i didn't have to spend the next one stuck here, in a manipulative coparentkng agreement, that would be great.