I have never posted here but been a lurker of late, especially with my current circumstances. I will try to sum it up and keep it simple but I apologize if it’s long and appreciate some feedback. My wife (37f) and me (33m) have one 2yo and a one on the way (she is 8.5 months pregnant). We don’t live together and haven’t since July of 2022. We have been legally married since January of 2022 and have been living apart since July of that year. I was basically kicked out over a huge argument that got very heated by wife. So I moved back in with my parents. I have had to deal with her terms and conditions for child visits since then. One week as long as I anted to stay together I could have her at my place and the next week when we fight not at all only at her place. Tempers and emotions are running very high right now because Ive made a decision to divorce. (I know very bad timing…) but I didn’t divorce her because of the baby last time so this time I won’t do that again. She has made me and my family out to be off the hook drunks and addicts. My dad grew a few pot plants and my brothers drink. There is no law enforcement being called here, no drama, no criminal activity. They drink in the weekend and my dad has said he doesn’t have to grow anymore if she is going to use that as proof it’s an unsafe environment for children. So fast forward to now I have been taking my 2yo every weekend daily since she is to pregnant to come over here and I don’t feel comfortable being there. Especially because I’m divorcing her now. She has said that I may visit her at her parents in her terms and that my 2yo may not ever come over here again basically. That has infuriated me and I’ve said some things in text I shouldn’t have like she’s a b and a c… stupid. I have divorce papers filled out and need to drop them off asap. I am asking for weekends with nights included and I know for a fact she will refuse. I am wanting 50/50 and I should have filed long ago when she kicked me out. (Well I did actually 3-4 times) but kept trying counseling or working on myself and working things out with her. Hasn’t worked out. Im a very frustrated and stressed person now because of this and I feel like I’ll never see my children again. And if I do it’ll be at her discretion and conditions. I work full time as a hazmat truck driver and am local so I’m home daily. I do pay child support from the moment she kicked me out. I plan on filing child support again the moment the baby is born. I have not drank for 8 months and quit smoking around then too. I do martial arts consistently and have steady income. I have a therapist I talk to every week and funny enough it’s mostly about her and how I feel about this stuff.I am doing everything right but she has all this power and control over me. I have a very complex situation. I am very scared and concerned with what ifs and when’s. So I’d appreciate your guys two sense or words of wisdom. If you have any questions I will answer them thoroughly. If I left out any important details just ask. I’m navigating through this the best I can and am on a rant about it but mostly for perspective. Maybe some direction as well. That is all for now thank you