Does it get better with time?

Brokenbyher2019 · 2020-08-05T05:20:38+00:00

Its gets easier to manage the pain and sadness with time. I got back my burning desire to get revenge on her by being the best me. Its what's keeping my focus. Im 37, lost my high paying job, have 3 kids and I'm getting 5050 custody. I have to move back in with my parents or else I'd be broken by alimony and child support. Im sad at times, depressed at other times. Most others exaggerate about suicide but I downed 750ml with a loaded 12 guage to my chin. It was at that moment I was too scared to die and I didn't want my kids to know I took the easy way out. I am a coward, I am fearful. I feel hopeless and scared. But damnit I have a burning desire to fight on and prove to myself, my kids and that damn c#nt that I can be happy with out her.

I will NOT roll over and accept defeat!

Toseborojo · 2020-08-05T02:19:01+00:00

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RoddyChooch · 2020-08-05T03:51:22+00:00

I’m 42, we ended almost 5 months ago. Things are not yet settled in the separation. But I’m wondering if your twice a week times with your son is 50/50? If not, do it. I know how hard the beginning is for sure. Just day after day of uncontrollable emotions and pain. Keep reading and looking for ways other people have overcome this. You’re not the first and won’t be the last. And it’s not just getting used to a shittier life. It’s another chance to live. Therapy, exercise, hobbies and other stuff to work on you. I have battled depression, and I thought the pain would take longer to go away, but i think the choices I made helped expedite the healing. So start making the choices you know are better. The pain is real, but the suffering is optional. Feel the pain, really be with it, identify the emotion as clearly as you can BUT stop there. Do not allow the stories in your head that cause your suffering space to breathe.

DeletedLastAccount · 2020-08-05T04:34:45+00:00

No, it really hasn't gotten too much better for me.

My kids seem to be handling it well though.

It's been 4 years.

Socrunk · 2020-08-05T16:24:02+00:00

I definitely understand how you felt. I separated in Oct 2017, divorced in Sep 2019, and am still going thru asset division now. I constantly feel like a failure. It was significantly worse in the beginning and now there are more good days than bad. My mindset changed when I asked myself one question "what is my purpose in life?" Finding purpose will change your outlook and give you something to look forward too. We all handle life differently so don't think you have a strict timeline until the depression goes away. Find healthy outlets to get yourself out of the fog of depression and don't beat yourself up when things are not ideal.

Trudging_On · 2020-08-05T22:05:36+00:00

For me it has been getting better with time.

The last year was absolute hell. I hit rock bottom and she left with our son.

I wake up everyday and remember I don’t have to think about her or the past.

I try to focus on the present and strive for my future. I have to be the best me I can be now, for myself and my son. And if it bothers her that I am completely different, then bonus.

Title	Does it get better with time?
Author	Toseborojo
Upvotes	11
Comments	15
Date	August 5, 2020 1:56 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/i3wlkt/does_it_get_better_with_time/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/does-it-get-better-with-time.1196124 https://theredarchive.com/post/1196124

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