Background:

Hi. I’ve been divorced for almost 2.5 years. Ex and I went through many many rounds of mediation resulting me with a sub optimal parenting plan and parenting time. My ex has been incredibly challenging the entire 2.5 years. She committed to adjusting our schedule to add time based on how the kids were doing (2 kids G6/B4.5). Shockingly she has not abused by her word. I know I know I’m an idiot for believing her and not getting it in concrete. My attorney and mediator both said the arrangement I was getting at the time was likely as good as what I’d get by going to court given the kids’ ages at the time. Thankfully one clause regarding parenting time and revisiting it in mediation was included which requires us to return this May.

Question: I imagine as I am the petitioner to change, there will be a custody evaluation ordered. I’m in Oregon and as the petitioner I will be the one to foot the bill. I believe this can work in my favor a bit as I get to choose the evaluator. I’be been informed that some options (more expensive) can require a psychoanalysis. My ex knows she’s been diagnosed twice but refuses to acknowledge it and would likely avoid it at all costs. But also maybe not.

Two asks:

  1. I would welcome any guidance on what to expect in a custody evaluation of any kind. I’ve read a bit but feel like this group may have more to offer.

  2. Given the potential psychoanalysis component of the evaluation, how can I use this in my favor? I’m not concerned in any way about mine but want to make sure the appropriate amount of emphasis is applied regarding her diagnosis.

More background: I have about 38% custody. I have zero criminal history. I’ve never missed a day/night in our plan in 2.5 years. I’ve been to every doctor appointment, sport practice, dentist appointment, etc. I volunteer at their school weekly. I’ve taken advantage of every single additional time that’s been offered. My kids complain about missing me and wanting more “daddy days” every week. I’m front of their mom. My daughter is in therapy and tells her therapist she really misses me and wants more time. There more but you get the picture.

Thanks in advance. I’m stressing, my kids are hurting and I’m trying to do everything I can to make it as good if a situation as possible for them.