I'm not gonna retype it here's what I told a buddy on WhatsApp:

'Fakename ex' is still trying to somehow ruin me or make things worse. She said that she can't get the kids in kindergarten or funding for them until they both have their Norwegian passports and social security numbers. And that I have to sign for that since we are not divorced yet. She keeps demanding to me to go London on one of my days off to embassy to do it. And I know that embassy is shit. I asked them before over the phone and on emails if they would notarise the marriage certificate for the court here and they said yes. I go there and then they say no. Didn't even apologize for my wasted trip and money or reimburse me. So I told her twice now no.. she has to wait til I'm there for a visit in April. And then when I said that, she decides to tell me a day later to get a bus to drive me up to them 6 hours away from nearest airport instead of her driving and picking me up, which she promised she would do. So it's like I thought, doesn't matter what she says. She says to not worry, I'll always be the kids dad, I'm always welcome bla bla but when she wants something and she doesn't get it, she changes the rules.

So now I gotta not only pay for tickets to get to Bergen, or Trondheim, I have to pay to rent a car at Norwegian extortionate prices, or spend half a fucking day on a bus and 1 ferry ride+wait if it's not on the dock, to go see my kids. Like I'll do of course but multiple times a year... Fuck it. I'll go see them once a year. I'm also gonna stop phoning them up cos she's always the one holding the fucking phone and trying to talk to me. I'd much rather wait til my kids are older and have their own phones and just speak to them directly. Their mother can go fucking do one.