Going on month 8 now where I have not been in a romantic relationship (with a woman). The freedom is great and other worldly. The divorce is nasty and ongoing and is very stressful as we are in a tough custody battle. Also being self employed it’s going to get expensive as accountants are involved.

However, I am free. My heart Is free and it’s completely reserved for me,my kids, my friends, my parents and for whoever I want to give some of my love. But I have nothing to give a partner. The door is closed shut. And it hasn’t been like this since I was a young man at the age of 18. How I remember those years when I wouldn’t let anyone in romantically. I thought being in a relationship was for weak people lol.

Anyways, now I’m in my 40s and see things a bit different. I don’t judge people for needing others. I have friends that can’t be single and I don’t fault them for it. It’s just the way they are. But I’ve reached a new level of inner strength where not only do I not NEED someone, I don’t WANT anyone. Which is fucking fantastic. More time for me. More money for me. More love for me. I need to take care of me and me first. I owe it to myself to love myself and put myself first.

At the beginning of the divorce it was strange being alone. It was scary, painful and uncomfortable. But I knew I needed it. I had a few opportunities and I shot them all down. But now, I WANT to be alone. The lack of sex doesn’t concern me either (thank god for that).
So for all my brothers that are hurting and are struggling with being alone, take solace in knowing that it does get better.