I’ve been trying my best to reconcile a marriage that’s 12 years going / 22 years together and my wife has been suffering from mental health issues. In May she told me that we’ve grown apart and she no longer was attracted to me anymore so we began counseling. I soon learned that an ex boyfriend was back in the picture and she was cheating on me. They’ve been talking behind my back for 3 years and sexual for 3 months. I was devastated.

Since March I did notice her behavior changed. Since November she couldn’t keep a job, and as a result was depressed and tried to commit suicide. In our marriage this had happened one other time before 7 years ago when her best friend walked away from her with no chance of forgiveness. She was in and out of the hospital and was found to have been misdiagnosed and was actually bipolar. She even locked me out from speaking to her psychiatrist so he would think all was well but she was promiscuous with 2 men, went on spending sprees online with our joint account etc.

She was hospitalized lately twice for a total of 20 days to regulate her meds and start an IOP program.

After her 2nd discharge from the hospital she changed her tune, told me she still loves me and will try to make it work.

We had a great 4th of July week spending a lot of time together then suddenly Sunday I discovered that instead of going to an AA meeting with her friend, she went back to the affair. I sat outside his house and sure enough she emerged and had nothing to say for herself, no remorse nothing. She came home later that day and I found her packing boxes of her extra belongings to move to her parents.

She expects to stay in the house until the house is sold or the divorce is finalized. I want to stay in the house too but knowing she’ll leave when she pleases to sleep with the and return and cohabit the house and sleep in our old bed makes me sick to my stomach.

I’ve already filed but have held back on serving her with the slim hope things would get better but this clearly was the last straw for me. I tried to be civil and sit down with her but things escalated when I tried to tell her good luck finding someone like me that would support her despite everything and this guy only wants sex from her. She told me “we’ll he’s the only one that can do me right and by the way we did it 3x this morning”

I’m in a lot of emotional pain having given her a total of 3 chances to turn this around and 3 times I’ve been hurt and let down.

I appreciate any help or advice you can provide.