After my separation from my wife of 8.5 years, I was lonely. As my stbx started immediately dating, I felt like I needed to as well. I would line up dates every weekend I had to myself, as we began practicing a custody arraignment with our 20 month old son.

Everytime I would see these women, I felt nothing. Even when I thought I should, there was nothing there. I could laugh, have a good time, but no romantic feelings.

I tried to push it. My brother, who also went through a divorce, bragged about how many women he went through afterwards. He encouraged me to do the same. When I would push for sex, it sucked. Ultimately, it led to a pregnancy scare.

Fortunately, after weeks of intense anxiety that I had completely destroyed my life, the woman wasn't pregnant.

It was a hard kick in the ass. My priorities aren't straight. I spent one weekend by myself just doing things that brought me joy. I had a great time and it was so much less stressful than navigating a date.

Although it still sucks to feel the loneliness, I know now that I can't pursue a relationship. I'm just not ready. My priorities are my son and his happiness and then mine. Maybe it'll years, but in the end I know this time to myself can not only lead to a better me, but a better relationship with someone else.

I know that our process through divorce is relative to each individual man. This is simply a realization that I know alone time is going to be better for me. Maybe some of you feel the same, or feel it within yourself but haven't accepted it yet.