I think it’s going well.

Adorable_FecalSpray · 2022-01-25T05:19:07+00:00

Hope for the best.

Prepare for the worst.

Good luck man, I seriously hope the amicable split works out for you.

Would be good to hear an update from you in a few weeks or months.

Famous_Performer_315 · 2022-01-25T08:51:02+00:00

That’s all I wanted in my divorce, but it looks like we will be having a huge battle. For all of us that wish we could be in your shoes, we are rooting for you!

Wld_N_frE · 2022-01-25T09:05:51+00:00

The goals sound great. This is usually the part where things go to hell though so proceed with caution.

pegleg_legal · 2022-01-25T09:34:25+00:00

The lawyers are actually rooting for us to be the “1%” of divorces that are respectful.

That's bullshit. Maybe 1% that they see, but not 1% overall. In any event, you would be the 1% on this subreddit!!! Please stick with it and good luck.

relationshiptossoutt · 2022-01-25T15:13:30+00:00

So I just had one of these "unicorn" divorces a few days ago. I make about $140K/yr, my ex makes about $65K/yr. We did an uncontested divorce. She got her own attorney, and I got mine. We spent $5k on the attorneys. We split assets 50/50 and also parenting 50/50. She declined alimony and I am paying less than 3% of my salary to child support.

It was EXTREMELY amicable. Because of all the horror stories I read around here, after the initial plan was drafted, I rolled over and played dead constantly. I didn't want her to change her mind or make things much more difficult for me. At one point, after we'd done the 50/50 division she all the sudden asked for $10K in additional funds as part of the settling. I said no problem. She added in some furniture she wanted to keep but forgot about. I said no problem. She pushed a little more, I said no problem.

At one point things got very emotional and difficult. We were yelling at each other and honestly, I don't even remember what it was about. I just remember that it was unreasonable to fight so hard about something that didn't matter much. It was just us being emotional and crazy.

The next day, after our heads had cooled, I approached my ex and said, "listen. This is a stressful time and I didn't mean to take it out on you. I know you're under stress too. I'm sorry for the role I played in making it worse. But it is still important to me to end this marriage civilly, for us and for the kids. You will be an important person in my life for a very long time and I'm not going to spend the last few weeks of marriage yelling. I hope you can do the same."

After that, it all turned around. We're divorced and finalized now, but she can't move into her new place for another few days. There's some awkward and stressful times in our house, and there's been many moments where I wish I could've stood up for myself, but I bit my tongue, rolled over, gray-rocked it. And it worked. We divorced with not a lot of anger and drama. I am going to be fine, financially. And really, my ex and I are getting along better than we've been in a long time. I wouldn't say our time together is enjoyable, but it's not the torture it was. It's... ok. And it's only for a few more days.

Of course you're terrified... it's honestly probably the proper emotion right now. But don't let the terror fuel you. Step back. Take a deep breath. Be mindful about your feelings and your goals. Act logically and rationally. Stay focused. Move swiftly. Don't spend thousands of dollars fighting over hundreds. Think often about whether a fight is worth it. When my ex asked for $10k additional, it was a tough pill to swallow. But I just thought about how I'd make that back in less than a year since she was waiving alimony. It made it much easier to take that lump. Fighting it may have ended up costing me more.

Anyway man, good luck. It's a tough time but you'll pull through it, stronger for the struggle.

NoNinja5632 · 2022-01-25T07:22:41+00:00

Good luck!! Take care of yourself.

Gattsama · 2022-01-25T11:04:12+00:00

I'm on day one (just told her I want to terminate). Said it previously in mid Nov but she wanted to try to work things out, and I was agreeable. But this time it's over and done. We had previously agreed to an uncontested divorce, but haven't filed or had the finances take yet. So will see what happens.

If you both have lawyers, then no one should be getting screwed. They should both be looking out for you guys, and if things are amicable then more power to you. Have a plan B, but proceed.

Stay safe and stay strong.

Title	I think it’s going well.
Author	mortimerbrewster79
Upvotes	8
Comments	16
Date	January 25, 2022 5:03 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/sc5po9/i_think_its_going_well/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/i-think-its-going-well.1097692 https://theredarchive.com/post/1097692

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