My STBX and I decided on a divorce about 4 months ago. I have the paperwork ready, but coming up with the money to file has been difficult. I'm disabled with a chronic condition and after waiting 3 months for a determination on my disability claim, it was denied (3rd party insurance NOT Social Security) so I'm suing them. I've got 2 autistic children I take care of and outside of SNAP benefits I'm falling way behind financially.

Now, my wife works 32hrs a week @ 15.95/hr. I told her when we decided to divorce that I'd cover the bills however I can and she needs to save up and move out. She agreed.

I asked her to pick up my medication last night ($25) and when she got home she said she needed me to pay her pack right away because she only has $12 in her account. I was like, YOU JUST GOT PAID YESTERDAY. Where did your money go?? And if course she blew up and got defensive and said she had shit she needs to pay off. I was like, what do you have to pay off?? I know she spends money on her weed habit, so I was thinking she owed money to someone. She then said she has "a couple of purses from Etsy she owes money for" and then she slammed the door to her room and then I smelled weed (she's to smoke outside only, that's a boundary) and just laid there on the couch feeling like a total fool.

Today I logged into her email and forwarded all of the receipts from her online debts and it added up to $1294.90 over a 3 month span. And to top it all off, it's all been spent on collectable toys from Japan, collectable enamel pins from Japan and a shit ton of super expensive make up. And she has everything on 4 time payment plans. 19 total purchases. That's why she's effing broke, she's literally working in exchange for a bunch of toys and pins and makeup.

Do I have the right to kick her out? I know I could just narc on her, but that's fucked up, even if I'm in recovery from substance abuse, I still don't want to go there. But she's obviously a complete narcissist and doesn't care one way or the other about the kids and I. She's bumming off me, and my parents who've saved our asses several times since I became disabled, she doesn't do anything around the house to help, and now this shit. It's the biggest slap in the face.

I was also wondering if anyone knows of any assistance for families in need when it comes to legal fees? If I could just get the $400 to file the paperwork I could at least get the ball rolling.

I really thought we could do this peacefully and respectfully, but now I just can't anymore. I'm literally too sick and tired to keep doing this. And I have no idea how to go about talking to her about any of it. I don't want a massive explosion of a fight to erupt, but fuck, ya know? I'm just at the end of my rope and have no idea what to do anymore.