Inviting Her to Participate

scivi92 · 2023-09-10T23:19:36+00:00

It may be better for them in the long run to begin to wean off of the dependency. Would just need to make the time with you fulfilling and entertaining. If she moved out and you're still home, perhaps that's an opportunity to allow them time with their friends in the neighborhood that they're familiar with amongst other things.

Nuggy-D · 2023-09-11T07:27:20+00:00

I think it’s a “take the high road” situation.

Even if your ex rejects you 100% of the time, you’ll know in 10-20 years if your kids ever complain or wished y’all did more stuff as a family, that you were ALWAYS trying. And if I were you, I’d go out of my way to show up if your wife ever invites you again.

You’re doin what’s right, keep doing it, even if it’s pointless

upvotersfortruth · 2023-09-11T01:25:24+00:00

fwiw, I think you're doing the right thing by pushing the contact and the invites - whether or not it's reciprocated. My concern would be whether changing it up at this point would bring some unnecessary, unwanted conflict (or necessary, wanted conflict - if you're still caught up on her). Maybe a test run of not inviting her to something she's expecting to be invited to - if she reacts in a way you don't want - just apologize and said you meant to invite her but it slipped your mind. If she doesn't react - go with /u/scivi92 's advice if that's the direction you want to go.

MortarGoBoom · 2023-09-11T04:18:46+00:00

My ex left me for her AP and soon got married after our divorce, so there's been little desire to speak at all. We email about kid stuff, but other than that contact between us is minimal.
We effectively don't co-parent. Her time with the kids is hers, and my time with the kids is mine. Granted they're teens, so it's a little easier, but it works best that way given the circumstances.

GreenUse1398 · 2023-09-11T08:08:29+00:00

I'd leave her out of it. Speaking as a child of divorce, I can well remember being a kid and wanting my parents to have absolutely as little interaction with each other as possible.

Don't badmouth her to the kids (even if she's doing that about you, which she likely is), but I'd ask about her through them - "is your mother ok, how she doing?". Be nice, but standoffish where your ex is concerned. Trust me, your kids'll remember when they're older. I do, and my parents divorced more than 30 years ago, and my mother has been dead for 20.

Title	Inviting Her to Participate
Author	throwaway05092023
Upvotes	11
Comments	5
Date	September 10, 2023 10:46 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/16fecd5/inviting_her_to_participate/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/inviting-her-to-participate.1231147 https://theredarchive.com/post/1231147

Comments